Showing posts with label Gratitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gratitude. Show all posts

December 1, 2018

Nature's Generosity

Driving out to the lighthouse at Point Reyes, seeing the long stretches of shoreline washing turquoise over the sand, reminds me of the generosity of nature, the infinite caresses along the shoreline, the enduring patience of the sea.

The ocean is bountiful and generous in her treasures, feeding us, giving us ways to transport our goods and travel the world. The wind provides free energy for sails, the sun is just asking to harvest her rays. Even the times I see the kudzu overtaking a rusty truck, here is nature simply reclaiming with infinitesimal confidence the natural order of entropy and return to the source. 

The cows chew their cud, not knowing who they will feed, with steak and ribs, unperturbed by their fate, accepting the random kindness of a stranger rubbing their face, giving free grass over the barbwire fence when I stopped by the side of the road to take a picture of the red barn in the grey fog. 

The crows have plenty say, doling out caws and criticism, chattering in the redwood tree outside the bay window. Maybe so do I. As I stretch my back and shoulders, breathing in the clarifying breeze, I ruffle my own feathers, present in the moment, aware of the luxury of time. And not only do I have plenty of time - but every moment counts.

September 8, 2017

Gratitude Board

Many folks are familiar with Vision Boards - creating a visual representation of goals, dreams, and desires - often through collage, and meditating upon it a daily or regular basis as a means of reflection, affirmation, and inspiration.

Also, most are familiar with the benefits of maintaining a gratitude journal - writing on a regular basis things that one is thankful for, appreciative of, or willing to celebrate, may it be as simple as celebrating the sunrise.

A Gratitude Board is a combination of what one is grateful for and tokens of gratitude from others in your life, may that be thank you cards, holiday cards, gift tags, awards, recommendations, reviews, testimonials, love notes, etc. When I see my gratitude board I am reminded of all the people that I have helped, and all the people who were helpful to me in the process. Have fun creating your own Gratitude Board, and feel in touch with the abundant blessings in your life.

Blessed Be.

October 16, 2013

Silent Retreat, Big Sur


My summer retreat started early, on Thursday, after dropping Amber off at her other parent's, knowing she was also getting ready for her big adventure in Europe. I spent the afternoon in relative silence, exchanging a few words with a neighbor, chatting with the cats, mostly fettering around, packing for the weekend. I had been quite surprised by the last minute email from Chip deciding not to go on the retreat, but was glad that he was taking care of himself, taking care of business, and most importantly, willing to look in on the cats over the weekend.

Friday I cleaned the house, mowed the lawn, did laundry and dishes, put clean sheets on the bed, not just for Chip to enjoy but for me to come home to order and grace after the retreat. I gave up on writing my final paper, realizing quite simply I had more research to do than could accomplish in a few hours,and went on a walk instead, depositing checks at the ATM and stopping for a few goodies from New Leaf before heading down the coast.

Despite leaving early, traffic was ridiculous at 2pm, construction creating bottle necks and head aches as I contemplated alternate routes. I decided the truth was I had nothing else to do, plenty of time, and that this was a part of the retreat, sinking into my thoughts rather than getting distractedly the radio, the hum of the air conditioner my only tune. I found myself in a deep fantasy of our wedding day, now that our plans had changed quite drastically from a large celebration with friends and family to what I had originally envisioned, a completely private ceremony between the two of us. My fancies ranged from trekking out to Point Lobos to skydiving in Hollister, ballroom dancing in the city to quiet beaches in Kauai.

After twenty minutes of stop and go, traffic let up after Park Ave, creating smooth sailing for the rest of the two hour trip down the coast. I waved at my parents house in seaside, noticed the driveway to highlands inn, thought about stopping at the Lucia lodge, and suddenly there was the turn into the New Camaldoli Hermitage. The two mile driveway switch-backed over the golden hills bursting with life - Scottish broom, purple sweet peas, pampas grass cheering me on as red tailed hawks swooped overhead.

I went into the bookstore to register, and to my surprise the assistant on duty not only lives in Santa Cruz, but we live on the same street. Small world, interesting way to meet a neighbor. I drove my car down to the hermitage, found my room and unpacked. I sat outside in my little enclosed garden, enjoying the late afternoon sun. A blue jay flew down from the fig tree, looked at me, ruffled it's feathers and pretended to be hurt. I know this bird ruse to lure predators away, and sure enough as I peered up into the leafy green foliage I could see a nest.

Little peeping noises commenced, and as I sat half a dozen teeny fuzz balls began to appear on the tiny trail by my garden. After a few minutes a mama quail appeared, saw me, and quickly ushered her young into the bushes. Hummingbirds came to sip from the orange monkey flowers as I looked across the ocean.

After a light supper, I walked over to Scholastica were the writing workshops were held. A dozen women sat in a circle, each with several journals piled at their feet, candles on the table flickering over an altar of stones, statues, seashells and pinec ones. I realized that I only had a couple pages left in my journal, so the rest of the weekend would write in old journals on random blank pages, something I found rather pleasing in disrupting any linear conceptions of time.

Saturday I woke up early and started reading a book my daughter had recommended. At 9am we had another workshop, reviewing our journals for themes. After lunch I spent the entire afternoon in my little garden, devouring the four hundred page book. After finishing it, I decided to walk down the two mile driveway for some exercise. Going down was easy enough, but hiking back was way more of a struggle, and I had to stop it seemed every ten yards or so, resting in the shade of tree, photographing the purple sweet peas, California poppies and live oaks. We had another evening workshop, after which I was quite content to simply go to bed.

Sunday I ate quiche for breakfast, then went to the morning session. The rest of the day was evenly divided between reviewing old journals, collating in scraps of paper that had accumulated over the years, and creating a healing mandala for my new blended family. I had a lot of satisfaction in  ripping out some pages and  destroying them, no need to cling to the pain of the past. After dinner I started packing, already thinking about the cats, emails, the rest of my week, reminding my self to stay present and enjoy the last of my stay.

Monday morning I woke up early again, took a shower and finished packing up the car. I took a shorter walk to stretch out my calves, still aching from the hike up the hill on Saturday. The fog filled in the valley and there was this feeling of looking down into the clouds, pale pinks and golds dancing in the snowy whiteness, the crisp blue sky above. Wafts of mists would come and envelop me, not the least bit cold, I felt like I could take bites our of the fog, feed myself on the droplets of moisture. Circling back around to the hermitage I found a picnic table to sit and contemplate, writing down my notes for the weekend, eager to share them with Chip after getting back home to Santa Cruz.

July 3, 2012

Summer Personal Enrichment Sessions

Journey with the Goddess
Come and journey with the Goddess to learn poetry, mythology and rituals for personal enrichment, transformation and growth. Choose to work with one Goddess or learn how to combine the energies of several through guided meditations.

Amaterasu: Goddess of Beauty, Self Esteem, Joy
Aphrodite: Goddess of Love, Self Love, Self Care
Baba Yaga: The Wild Woman, Creativity, Vitality
Changing Woman: Celebration of Cycles, Transitions
Durga: Goddess of Good Boundaries, Sacred Circle of Self
Freya: Goddess of Sexuality, Sensuality
Hecate: Goddess of the Crossroads, Perspective
Innana: Embracing the Shadow, Reclaiming Wholeness
Isis: Goddess of Mothering, Birthing and Nurturing
Kuan Yin: Goddess of Compassion, Deep Listening, Release
Lakshmi: Goddess of Abundance, Prosperity, Opening to Flow
Pele: Goddess of Awakening, Awareness, Transforming Anger
Shakti: Goddess of Energy, Recharging, Revitalizing, Balancing

 Astrology Lessons
 • Basic Astrology: 
Sun, Moon and Rising Signs
3 sessions devoted to the basic astrology chart

• Beginners Astrology: 
10 session course is an introduction to learning how to read the birth chart. Topics include:
• The 12 signs of the Zodiac
• The Planet and Asteroids, Myths and  Meaning
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• Advanced Astrology:
10 session course designed to delve further into the birth chart, as well as cover
• Transits and Forecasts
• Major Life Cycles
• Relationship and Synastry Charts

“Kayla is an amazing, multi-talented woman.... In the year that I’ve been meeting with her, she has assisted me in working through several big life changes. I consistently come out of our meetings feeling I received a wealth of ideas and insights, and that I am more capable of meeting future challenges.” - Ginger McClesky, El Cerrito

Journey Through The Tarot

Want to know just what's in the cards, for you or your friends? Whether a complete beginner or already an experienced reader, come to a series of refreshing classes to learn the tarot at your own pace. Topics include:
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I really got a lot out of Kayla's class "Journey Through the Tarot". I was actually looking for an astrology class when I found this class on the internet. I learned a lot about the tarot, numerolgy and even some astrology. I highly recommend Kayla as a teacher, she's engaging, funny and very knowledgeable, I looked forward to my class every week! I'm now more than capable of doing tarot readings and I'm really enjoying it. Thanks so much Kayla!
Lanee Buchholz

  
Creative Abundance - 10 Weeks to Greater Prosperity

Engage both your right brain and your left brain in an interactive 10 week program with Kayla Garnet Rose, Certified Hypnotherapist, designed to activate greater abundance and prosperity into your life. Includes:
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 and other tools to continue to generate money, support, energy, love and all that you need to create abundance in your being.
This class is awesome! I took it last year and went on a 23 day vacation (to Brazil and Antartica) this year! It works! - Lisa Carter, Santa Cruz

This class was beyond expectation. Now I am grounded, guided and have a thriving new business. I will take this class again and again. This timeless information indeed opens you up to Abundance. Thank you Kayla - Kristine Barnes Garbini, Aromas
Regular sessions are 60 minutes:
Individual sessions $95
Prepay 3 sessions $270 (save $15)
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July 1, 2012

What am I discovering about myself in relationship to gratitude

I am discovering that gratitude lives in all the parts of my body, not just in my heart. My feet are grateful for warm clean socks, to walk the narrow path by the roadway, to feel sand between my toes.

My body is grateful for being warm, for a good nights sleep, for a breakfast I would never make myself, hot turkey eggy bready thing seeming to be most delicious and nourishing thing I have ever eaten.

My hands are grateful to write. It is so different not using a pen but to tap out the letters on the keyboard, I notice my writing is much slower, yet keeps up with my thoughts. My hands are grateful to touch Chips, feeling the warm pulse where his thumb joins his palm, the quiet connection as we each are absorbed in our thoughts.

I am discovering that my eyes are grateful, from seeing the stark cement and asphalt that makes up San Francisco to truly appreciating the colors and textures here, the mossy greens and golden sunsets, the rich browns of the dorm room beams, the way the stain glass changes every time I walk up the stairs.

My ears are grateful for the silence, for the rest from constant chatter, the radio, the tv, of having to listen closely to every word a client says, every nuance in the cats meow. I didn't realize my ears were tired until they could just rest in the quiet.

My throat is grateful too. All day long I talk and talk,whether giving my students a four hour lecture or conversing with my clients, catching Chip up on the details of the day, practicing French with Amber. My mouth appreciates whispering, smiling, my tongue being still, content to rest in it's bed, a lazy day weekend feeling in my teeth.

I am discovering gratitude in my brain, flashes of insights like fireflies in the dusk, prayers and blessings running through my mind like a gentle stream, with no need to try to catch and bottle each essence, trusting that the source will continue to flow.

My bones are filled with appreciation, for creating structure in my life, my joints grateful for being flexible. I notice my spine loving the cushions, the couch, for being fully supported while relaxing into the ease of each moment.

And yes, I am discovering gratitude in my heart. What it means to be grateful, to be great and to be full. I notice my heart feels calm and peaceful, safe in my chest, open to possibility and expanding in awareness with each pulse, each breath.

Blessed be.

June 1, 2012

What do I take for granted in my life

I take my house for granted. There are times when I realize an earthquake could completely destroy my castle and all my possessions, but mostly I just depend on it being there for me. I remember to thank my parents on a regular basis for this amazing gift, and I clean and repair it too, but after 18 years in one place I know there is much I no longer see.

I do see it when other people come over, who exclaim at the murals, the artwork, how light and airy it is, clean and spacious. I take for granted that I have a garden, even resenting at times the constant weeding and pruning, but when I see other yards that are just patchy grass and maybe a jade plant or two that I come back to appreciating the landscaping I have done over the years.

I even take living in Santa Cruz for granted, having now spent over half my life here. When we go to San Diego is when I remember that I live in paradise, that I am blessed to live in a place where I can walk everywhere, where people smile and are genuinely friendly. Santa Cruz is the third most expensive place to live in the country, people come here to vacation or retire and then there are those of us who are in service.

I love my community and take for granted that it is a peaceful place, and the recent deaths of two teenagers whose parents I know came as a shock and a dismay. The good times posted an article about serial killers tom the 70s, when Santa Cruz was known as the murder capital of the world. I take for granted feeling safe, I walk the streets of my neighborhood at 2 am feeling secure, feeling that anyone I run into simply can't sleep either, rather than intending me harm.

I take being an American for granted. I lived in Europe until I was 15, and used to be much more aware of how amazing it is to live in this country. I have become complacent, not following politics although I always vote, not appreciating the freedoms and liberties we enjoy here, especially as a white middle class person living in California.

I take the Internet for granted, and get miffed when loading time is slow or net flicks stops to reload. The Internet is a modern miracle that my daughter cannot imagine living without, that for me has replacing the phone, an instrument I really hate to use. This weekend being here with to Internet let's me appreciate how it keeps me connected, socially and professionally, as well as it's slightly addictive qualities.



It all starts with an awareness. Let me change what I take for granted into an even deeper gratitude...

Blessed be.

March 28, 2012

Something I will give myself today

Permission. Permission to not turn on my cell phone until I reach Santa Cruz, knowing that there is nothing I could do if there was an emergency, and giving myself the luxury of time and trust that anything can wait.

Permission to sit with the cats and really connect, maybe read my book that I didn't get to this weekend, continuing my retreat and silence.

I will give my time and energy to others when I decide to turn on the computer, answer my emails. I will go and buy candy for the neighborhood kids, and give Chip as many kisses as possible. I will buy Dolores her favorite beer for taking care of the cats, and be surprised at what else I will end up giving.

What I give to the world today is my breath, sending out love and reiki to those who need it, whether or not I know them. I give my poems and writing on my blog, photos on facebook, with no idea who might be touched, who might choose to share what I have witnessed, what I have experienced.

Blessed be.

March 7, 2012

Natural Gratitude

Walking on the beach instills gratitude in me, especially this season, such a contrast to living on the East coast, living in Idaho, as I have done in the past. Every sunny day is a chance to renew my energy, store in my batteries, knowing that the rains are on the way out.

Living in Santa Cruz and being here in Point Reyes I am grateful for the cool crisp mornings, the warm afternoon, the mild evenings. I am always aware of the plants, from the red leaved tree with the pale green Spanish moss dripping from it just outside this window right now, to the enormous aloe veers in Santa Cruz, my friend Nikki from New York saying, "These are house plants!"

While we do not have the dramatic seasonal changes of new England, the seasons of California are distinct and subtle. I am aware in my garden of the winter blooms, the red hot pokers a good example, the California poppies announcing the return of spring.

 After driving through San Francisco to get here, being so aware of the concrete and asphalt, iron barred windows and the distinct lack of lawns, trees corralled into parks as the street lamps become the urban jungle, I am so grateful for the serene roads winding through the gentle hills, the soft light illuminating the greens and golds, the sheer amount of oxygen being released from the trees into my grateful lungs. We have seen a tiny mouse and a huge stag, countless ravens and other birds, their gentle presence a reminder that we share this earth, not just a roadway.

It was soothing walking along the beach yesterday, which stretched for miles and was so unpopulated. Grey seagulls clustered by the waters edge, the sand pipers busy doing their thing, cracked crab shells crunching under out feet. I appreciated the tug of the sand on my calves, the shifting sands, the chance to smell the ocean, the hope to see a whale. This expansive space, my expansive heart, filled with gratitude and a quiet joy.

Blessed be.

February 29, 2012

What have I learned to be thankful for that I used to take for granted


I have learned to be thankful for my health. Turning 45 last year I am so much more aware of my body's shifts and changes, from creaky joints to night sweats, the sudden appearance of a pudgy belly. I used to take for granted that I would always be small, petite and slender, and it has been a shock to gain 20 pounds over the last year, to feel my feet aching every day, to feel a struggle in my habits.

I am thankful that I am on no medications besides for my inhaler, even my asthma having been vastly improved since putting in the hard wood floors and addressing my gerd, changing my diet so as not to experience acid reflux. Having the new cat has definitely exacerbated my allergies, and I am grateful to acupuncture and homeopathic remedies for giving me relief while my immune system changes.

I appreciate walking more, especially after I quit Zumba, which just started feeling too hard on my body, although I do miss the endorphin rush after each class. I used to take my digestion for granted, and now need to be so much more conscious of consuming fried foods versus salads, of eating breakfast and more protein instead of carbs.

I used to think that I could do anything, climbing up and down ladders, cleaning the windows of the house, having tons of energy. I notice where I am slowing down, being more conscious, more aware that a fall could mean a broken bone, a broken neck. I am grateful to have the income to start outsourcing these needs, paying the roofer and hiring a window cleaner, thinking about a gardener to help with the maintenance, leaving me free for more creativity.

Blessed be.

February 15, 2012

Sunday morning at the retreat

There is a smell of cinnamon in the kitchen, sleepy silent retreat participants wandering in for their first cup of coffee, I can see the dawn kissing the hills in the distance and I am grateful for a good nights sleep.

I dreamt I was ice skating with Mom, aware that boots needed to be tighter, enjoying the powerful glides as my legs crossed over, the satisfying bite on the ice.

I miss the cats and send them reikitty energy along with my other morning prayers, to Amber, to Scott and Lisa, my parents, Chip. I'm looking forward to reading my book later, no longer feeling pressured to get anything else done, I feel pleasantly relaxed and present.

Two people were meditating in the writing room this morning, as I slipped in to use the adjoining bathroom. I think about Lisa and Henry over in Thailand, what it is to meditate together, sharing energy and breath, sharing silence and stillness. I am grateful for this time to allow Chip and I do develop more comfortable silences, enjoy the quiet times, to sit with full awareness of the pulse of his hand in mine, the ways that whispers work and the beauty of maintaining eye contact.

Blessed be.

February 8, 2012

What might I have to give up to live with a grateful heart?

Sometimes it's a scratch
That I feel like itching
But I'm willing right now
To give up all my bitching

It might even
Be easier than I think
To really let go of
All the dishes in the sink

All day long
I fuss and I futter
I'm ready to give up
My emotional clutter

Ready to let go
Of my ideas of perfection
Ready to change
My personal reflection

I might have to
Give up complaining
And actually enjoy it
When it is raining

Feel my strength
Instead of groaning
Exercise my choices
Instead of moaning

Start responding
Instead of being reactive
Give up laziness
Instead being proactive

This is only a beginning
But it's a good start
Letting go of my ego
To live with a grateful heart

Blessed be.

January 25, 2012

Something I am struggling with

Time. I struggle with time. I have never been too interested in making money, but I am incredibly interested in making time - for myself, for my child, and in particular for my lover.

Even getting ready for this weekend, I so wanted to somehow get more done, in particular I wanted to wash my car. I let it go with a sigh as I realized it was more important to tie up some loose ends with clients, clear my desk and my mind for the retreat ahead, and that the dirt could wait.

Still, after dropping Amber off at school I took a few minutes to wipe down the interior, sweep the crumbs off the seats, and shake out the mats. I wanted the car to be pleasant for Chip as we wound our way up to this northern sea shore. I wanted it to be pleasant for me as well.

After picking Chip up at his Mountain View office, he asked me about my morning, and I rattled off all I had accomplished, from cleaning the house and packing  to dying my hair. I don't give myself enough credit for I do. I have been aware lately of going and sitting on the deck, closing my eyes in the sun, and just enjoying the garden, rather than working in it. The weeds aren't going anywhere, and the truth is the larger they are the easier to pull.

When homeless folks ask me for spare change, I always want to ask them for some spare time. After all, they're just lounging around all day, don't seem to have anything to do but panhandle, can't they give me some of that?

I find myself struggling to incorporate Chip into my life. Yes, we have good times together, incredibly happy, but I always worry that I am somehow falling behind in other areas of my life. After being single for seven years I became used to filling up my evenings and weekends with work, work and more work, and I feel challenged to relax, let go, and simply play, to simply enjoy our time together for what it is - precious, sweet and precious.

I love spending time by myself, and feel challenged to create this as we merge our lives together. I love spending time with amber, but usually it is doing homework as we don't have weekends together, and she is of the age where she is embarrassed by me in public places. I struggle to find the balance between me time, us time, family time, client time.

This is an opportunity for gratitude when I recognize that Chip is not taking anything away from me, but indeed adding to my life, adding to my joy and happiness, giving me the strength and rejuvenation I need for the rest of the week.

It is an opportunity to enjoy the time with amber, who will be leaving for college in a few short years, and to savor our connection, even if it's just watching a tv show together.

 It is an opportunity to have gratitude for being self employed, the ability to set my own schedule, decide which office to work out of, and when I want to work on my business not just at my business.

 And it is an opportunity to be grateful for my meditation practice, which was hugely important as I moved through sorrow and grief, and now has the ability to slow down time for me, help me relax and breathe into the moment, and that five minutes by myself can be as refreshing as five hours.

I am reminded of the quote, "There is plenty of time, and every moment counts" as well as my own affirmation that I have plenty to do, and all the time in the world to do it. I am grateful for my ability to prioritize and to be more flexible.

Blessed be.

January 18, 2012

Come, Be Plain With Me

I complain about this
I complain about that
Weeds in the garden
Hair from the cat

Being really busy
Always on the go
Too many clients
As well as the no shows

I'm looking for attention
Needing validation
Trying to vent
All my frustration

Sometimes I know
I'm just Exaggerating
Sometimes it feels
Just Complicating

Complaining serves no purpose
As far as I can see
I'd rather speak my truth
Kind and gently

Rather than complaining,
I would like it to be
Changing the words to
Come, be plain with me

Let me be plain
Transparent with you
Honor your truth
Let us see this through

Being authentic
Acting compassionately
Actively listening
Come, be plain with me

Come, be plain with me...
Blessed be.

January 11, 2012

Thoughts on Complaining

What makes me susceptible to complaining?

Other people complaining and my need to validate their experience leads me to find all the negative tidbits that I have been secretely saving for a bitch session.

What do I really want when I complain?
I really want validation, I want to vent, to release steam like a volcano. I want attention, the tantrum that Carolina described.

What do I generally get in response to complaining?
I get advice I most likely won't take, suggestions that I have thought of myself but have somehow already rejected.

I complain about my mom's complaining.

I complain about Chips lateness without being grateful for the fact that he drives a couple of hours just to spend time with me. My complaining serves no purpose, changes nothing in his behavior, and it can only serve to move me into acceptance, that people have different senses of time, and that we are always synchronized when do connect, not on my agenda, not on his, but on our particular intention to share our lives together.

I complain about Ambers rejection out of fear and a need to assert myself as her parent, my insecurity of not being taken seriously or seen as her real parent as I didn't birth her.

I complain about the house because I feel overwhelmed. What I really want is help. What I need is the acceptance that there will always be something to do, the moment the laundry is done the next load is being made, to enjoy my garden rather than noticing the weeds.

I complain about my website clients because I feel stressed out and unappreciated, I complain about the hours worked but it is my fault for not billing like a lawyer, each email, each conversation.

I complain about not getting paid yet I continue to work with unreliable clients, somehow thinking it's better than nothing.

I want to changemy complaining to:
Come, be plain with me...

January 7, 2012

What allows me to feel more gratitude

I am more open to gratitude when I appreciate myself, rather than looking to others to feel validated or secure. I notice appreciating the hot water in the shower, the modern miracle of plumbing, the way the conditioner leaves my hair feeling like silk, the chance to shed the past as it swirls down the drain.

Taking the time each morning to do the simple act of pulling a tarot card, centering myself for a few minutes or an hour, depending on the demands of the day, leaves me feeling in a state of grace that gives me the strength and patience needed to drive in traffic, be kind to a client, negotiate with a teenager.

Reiki has certainly helped stay in a humbled state of deep gratitude, whether praying over my food or touching the feet of my client. In my sessions I go down on my knees, sending the energy through their body, but I visualize I am washing their feet with my hair, anointed them with holy oils, removing the thorns and nails, kissing the wounds until they are healed. Every one of my clients comes to me as a teacher, and in the silent moments I reflect upon the lesson be brought to me today, and I am always surprised when they hand me a check at the end of the session. No, I want to say, I should be paying you...

Learning how to take compliments gracefully, to say thank you genuinely, to send get well cards or simply hold someone in my thoughts, visualizing an infinity loop of energy connecting our hearts, keeps me open to gratitude.

A friend of mine posts her gratitude journal on facebook. This keeps me open, allows me to pause and reflect, to leave inhere comment box my own awareness of personal blessings, of choosing to look at life as positive. It is an antidote to all the postings about illness and war, outrage and despair that cycle across my screen.

Blessed be,

December 28, 2011

In the moment

Actually, it is 7:30 am at the St. Columba retreat house, I am sitting feeling grateful for hot coffee, my shoulders cramped and sore after a poor night's sleep in the freezing cold dorm room, where only after piling on even more blankets into the bunk bed did I find myself in grateful slumber.

I dreamt that I was an antiques fair, and people were taking off in these para-sail like buses. One guy was bummed because his bus had gotten graffittied on overnight. I showed him that the graffiti was just stickers and could peel right off. Then something about going swimming with Lisa and Henry, but that seems vague now.

Chip forgot his shaver and forgot both my jacket and to bring a bra. I guess I'm really on vacation now. There are good smells of breakfast in the room, quiet, hushed whispers of " good morning", our need for politeness and connection overcoming the request for silence. I remember this from before, the quiet thank you's, and how I loved these human lapses.

I am looking forward to going on a walk, working the chinks out of my bones, and already feel the time slipping away, as my monkey mind clamors to read my book, make some drawings, write a hundred love letters today. After looking at the quotes from last night's workshop, I remember to take it slow, to enjoy each micro moment for exactly what it is. I also realize how much I look forward to going to Hawaii for two weeks, the time period seems extremely luxurious, to indulge in nothingness and be a part of the flow. I will remember to take less things to do with me to the islands, but maybe I will remember to take a bra or two...

Are the stars too distant, pick up the pebble that lies at thy feet, and from it learn the all
. -Margaret Fuller

Blessed be,

December 14, 2011

What do I want to be in touch with regarding gratitude?

Being more grateful for my parents and I'd like to practice sending out the love infinity prayer to her just as I have with others this week.

Being more grateful for my health and for having overcome past addictions, practicing a kinder gentler path.

Truly enjoying myself, being grateful for my clients and that I don't have to have a housemate or do websites to earn money. My practice will be in writing love letters.

Love letters, my practice is in writing love letters - to my clients, to my colleagues, to my friends and family. I used to have writing to my mom on my monthly list and I want to setup a schedule for myself of reaching out on a more regular basis to my mom, my brother, my aunt, just as my dad and I see each other for lunch every two weeks.

I want to put into my calendar a schedule to update my profiles, send out emails, etc as a way to love my practice.I want to send out more follow ups with new clients as well as regular mailings of post cards, magnets, etc, the the little tokens of love and inspiration.

I want to keep texting Amber and posting on fb as a way to maintain our continuity when apart.

I want a check in system with Chip, like therapy, to keep voicing my truth and giving him the time and space to voice his. I want to remember to say thank you after each time he feeds me, each time he drives over the hill.

I want to be grateful for my house rather than seeing it as a burden, to take delight in the improvements, in a flourishing garden.

I want to be grateful for my friends and invite them over for dinner or parties, to enjoy our laughter and feel our mutual support.

I want to be more grateful for my students and the staff at Twin Lakes College, offer more of my essence through classes and workshops without being so concerned about what will I get paid.

I want to be more grateful for working at the office and the space it provides for my healing practice, as well as being more grateful for the referrals and giving more referrals.

I want to be more grateful and graceful at my networking groups.


I want. I can. I will. I have and will again.  And so it is..

I am grateful right here, right now. I am great and I am full.

Blessed be.

December 7, 2011

Qualities in myself I am grateful for

I am grateful for
My intelligence, my capacity to synthesize information
My incredible memory, especially for peoples names
My health and willingness to be healthier
My sense of humor
My ability to find the positive
My voice, in hypnosis especially
My ability to facilitate healing through reiki, hypnotherapy
My love of the esoteric
My deep curiosity
My organization, efficiency, tidiness and cleanliness
My ocd ways
My willingness to change my mind, my flexibility, my fluidity
My patience
My kindness and compassion
My ability to problem solve
My loyalty and tenacity, my commitment
My education, college and graduate, formal and informal
My ability to handle money
My ethics and morals, my sense of integrity
My parenting skills
My experiences with other lovers I bring to this relationship
My comfortableness with my body
My capacity for forgiveness, especially of myself
My willingness to laugh out loud, sing out loud
My sense of justice, fairness
My peaceful, diplomatic nature, my pacifist side
My inner warrior, willing to fight
My internal priestess, my deep intuition
My cycles and seasons, rhythms and tides
My grace, my ability to dance
My deep listening
My ability to really pay attention
My humbleness
My authenticity
I walk my talk and practice what I preach

Blessed be,

November 30, 2011

Simple things I am grateful for today


I am grateful for Chip
I am grateful that the cats are getting along
I am grateful for my warm shawl from my mother, from Guatalmala
I am grateful for my iPad and for dad giving it to me
I am grateful to live in Santa Cruz
I am grateful for a yummy dinner
I am grateful to have money in the bank
I am grateful that my closet is organized
I am grateful for my students showing up
I am grateful for my clients doing the work
I am grateful to myself for quitting internet marketing and the time I have enjoyed creating websites
I am grateful for Amber, pure and simple
I am grateful not to have to use an alarm clock
I am grateful for my health
I am grateful to feel in love
I am grateful I am am smart and intelligent
I am grateful for my spiritual practice

I am grateful to have laughed out loud today

Blessed be,

November 23, 2011

Evening notes

There is an intimacy within silence
A chance to remember your Self

Gratefulness
Great fullness
Gratitude and hope are active states, spiritual practices

Today I saw
Deer - be gentle with your Self
Mouse - pay attention to the details
Suggestion: Create a gratitude journal
What was the best thing that happened your the day?

Deepak Chopra reminds us - connect yourself to a higher vision of life through gratitude
Being mindful means being grateful in the moment


Right now I am
Grateful that my cats
Poppy and June are together

Blessing is related to the word blood
Let it flow and return to source
From the heart
Back to the heart

Bless this Space Between Us - a book recommendation

Taking things for granted does not make us happy
Essence is lost
Being busy vs slowing down more
A common theme
In practicing gratitude