Weeding Meditation

 

Being mindful in the garden can be a delight - really noticing the sounds of the birds, the wind, one’s breathing. Seeing the colors of the rich earth revealed as I remove the yellow sour grass. Smelling the fresh air, tasting the wind, the subtle aromatherapy of lavender, jasmine, and rosemary. The feel of roots as they give way when gently tugged, the stretch in the low back, the little wooden stool’s support, yoni close to the earth. The quality of light in this season, this time of year, the time of day. This is being present.

I found my mind wandering around the metaphor of pulling out negative thinking, the tenacity of old habits, and the constant diligence to prune out what is no longer serving. Even noticing that the big weeds are sometimes easier to get rid of than the little ones - just like my habits, some of the big ones are easier to change, more so than the little self-doubts that creep in and take hold. Mindfully, consciously, intentionally, as I pulled the weeds, I imagined I was pulling out any cancer, any disease, anything that was strangulating my energies.

And then taking a moment to really allow myself to simply enjoy the garden, not just work at it. Just like in meditation, enjoying the wandering of my mind, with no need to do anything but explore my inner landscape reflected in the outer, appreciating the beauty, complexity, feeling whole and healthy - weeds and all.

(Excerpt from Laphrodite's Guide to Mindful Menopause or the Adventures of a Baby Crone)

The Fifth Sacred Thing

The earth is a living, conscious being. In company with cultures of many different times and places, we name these things as sacred: air, fire, water, and earth.

   Whether we see them as the breath, energy, blood, and body of the Mother, or as the blessed gifts of a Creator, or as symbols of the interconnected systems that sustain life, we know that nothing can live without them.

   To call these things sacred is to say that they have a value beyond their usefulness for human ends, that they themselves become the standards by which our acts, our economics, our laws, and our purposes must be judged. No one has the right to appropriate them or profit from them at the expense of others. Any government that fails to protect them forfeits its legitimacy.

   All people, all living things, are part of the earth life, and so are sacred. No one of us stands higher or lower than any other. Only justice can assure balance: only ecological balance can sustain freedom. Only in freedom can that fifth sacred thing we call spirit flourish in its full diversity.

   To honor the sacred is to create conditions in which nourishment, sustenance, habitat, knowledge, freedom, and beauty can thrive. To honor the sacred is to make love possible.

   To this we dedicate our curiosity, our will, our courage, our silences, and our voices. To this we dedicate our lives. 

From The Fifth Sacred Thing by Starhawk 

Vintage

Growing older, more mature, 

I appreciate the finer things in life - 

Grape vines, aged cheese, 

Antique candle holders, broken down barns. 

Savoring the time it takes to craft

Richness of patience paying off.

My plate is less full, 

Bites smaller. 

Life is bursting with zest and vitality, 

Never experienced before all this

Death and decay.

I welcome new flavors and savor familiar delights.

I enjoy sharing the abundance

In the simplest of ways.

(Excerpt from Laphrodite's Guide to Mindful Menopause or the Adventures of a Baby Crone)

My Tarot Story

I first became interested in the Tarot after reading Live or Let Die by Ian Fleming when I was living in Luxembourg during elementary school.  We would drive out to the airport to find books in English, and there was a dearth of children's books, but many a murder mystery and spy novel. In the book there was a Tarot reader named Solitaire, and I became enchanted with the whole concept.  

I started boarding school in England for junior high, and I remember going to Harrods in London, which was renowned for its toy department. There were plenty of card decks, game decks, chess pieces, and toy soldiers, but no tarot. In the ninth grade, once we had moved back to America and I was living in Maryland, I wrote an essay about the tarot, sparse information gleaned from the Random House Encyclopedia.

Fast forward to summer after sophomore year of college at Wesleyan in Connecticut. My roommate invited me to visit her in California for a week - basically, I never left. In one fell swoop, I fell in love with Santa Cruz, met the parent of my child, pierced my nose, and bought my first tarot deck - The Motherpeace Tarot by Karen Vogel Vicki Noble. 

About a year later, I bought the Daughter's of the Moon by Ffiona Morgan and Shekhinah Mountainwater, which was a black and white deck (now out of print). It took almost three years to hand color it it. Later, I hand painted the Du Wacky Du deck, using sharpies as they were glossy, but also embellished them with glitter and ended by using mod-podge. Years later, they're still slightly sticky, and when I use them, they make a satisfying crackle as I shuffle.

After a brief stint in Idaho, I moved back to Santa Cruz and began working at Aries Arts down in Capitola Village, where we had about seventy different tarot decks. This was the beginning of my education in the esoteric, and I soon began taking astrology classes as well. When I opened Herland, we had about fifty decks to start, but then a neighboring store, 13 Real Magick closed, and my collection doubled. Most of these I gifted to other metaphysical stores when Herland closed in 2004.

As a part of my PhD program in Holistic Health, I wrote my thesis, Journey Through the Tarot, on using the tarot as an integrated healing system by comparing the Daughter's of the Moon, Tarot of Transformation by Willow Arlenea and Jasmine Cori, The Osho Zen Tarot, and the traditional Rider-Waite-Smith deck. 

I started my own deck, the Holistic Tarot, probably a decade ago. It's been through a couple of stuttering starts - watercolor and colored pencils, simply learning to get better materials and starting again, let alone  increasing my art skills. I'm working on a Rune card project in watercolors, it's about halfway done. 

I attended a Soul Collage class at Cabrillo college in 2016, which led to the creation of the Baby Crones Tarot deck and book. I made the images first, encircled them in copper tape, secured in glassine envelopes, and added affirmations later on the printed decks. Then I challenged myself to write the 78 accompanying meditations.

I did a series of twenty-two tarot portraits with Chip Chapin. We did the major Arcana, taking photo's in our kitchen but then I stopped, not sure of backgrounds or how to create the next 52 cards. I was just looking at them, wondering how to continue, when an ad for using AI to create your personalized tarot deck came up on Instagram. And so the Tarot of Kayla was born.

Now I'm working on the "little white book," not so much to provide the usual tarot interpretations of each card, but to discuss why I chose certain symbols, and specifically, the animals I added to each card - from chipmunks to vultures, orcas to opposums, so much rich animal magic to share. I've found errors on a couple of cards, and am not quite happy with the Lovers card, so will make some corrections and reprint.

Some of The Hard Cards

"What is the difference between Tarot cards and Oracle cards?" Great question. 

The Tarot is a system of 78 cards intersecting between five modalities (Spirit, Physical, Emotional, Intellectual, Energy) and numerology (ones are beginnings, two are balance, etc). 

Oracle cards have their own system. My favorite are Medicine Cards. Usually around forty-fifty cards, they might follow a particular path, most have positive images and lovely affirmations. I like using them as clarifiers - energetic resources, focus points, sources of support. 

This is one of the reasons I love the tarot - Here are these 78 life lessons, the pretty moments as well as the knitty-gritty. Its the hard stuff that we have to look at, and the beauty of a tarot reading is getting the root of the moment, as well as validation, a new perspective, and often, just plain old good advice. The part of us that "knows" without the shame, guilt, doubt, disbelief getting in the way.

Of course, the Major Arcana depict the Major Life moments - Death, The Tower, The Devil (more on these later), but its also the Minor Arcana that let us tune into our finer sensibilities, just like paying attention to the moon. 

Disappointment. Grief. Despair. Exhaustion. Sorrow. Heartbreak. Doubt. These are all human emotions, human life lessons. Seeing oneself reflected in the cards does not mean you are destined to be cursed with this particular affliction, but instead asks you, just like going to grandma, insert tarot book, to get a new perspective. What are the resources on the card - animal, plant, color, chakra. Like the cat who licks its wounds, lick yours, heal, and move on.

Socrates once said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." Look, learn, apply. The tarot has much to offer as you gather information, reflect, and then make the best decisions.

Tarot of Kayla Now Available!

I had so much fun generating The Tarot of Kayla using a photo of me from Santa Cruz Pride last year. Even though it felt a little narcissistic, I loved seeing all my tattoos, swinging skirts, beaming smile. I added in a variety of personal symbols including my ubiquitous black top hat with a rainbow sash, fingerless gloves knitted by my dear friend Joanne, and a plethora of fierce eye wear. Also  animal guides to each card, especially my dear calico cat, as part of the cards depicting my own hero's journey.

For example, the Justice card has a small hippo. Why? Well, in Egyptian mythology when one dies your heart gets weighed by Maat, the goddess of truth, balance, and order. She takes the feather of truth from her forehead. If your heart is as light as a feather, you get reincarnated. If it is not, your heart gets chucked to the hippopotamus God, who eats it all up, chomp, chomp.

The Seven of Swords has a mischievous raccoon helping me steal away, a vulture hangs out with me in the Death card, and an opossum swings by it's tail in The Hanged One, a black lab, tribute to Maisy Dog, is my companion in the Three of Pentacles. Then there are ravens, butterflies, snakes and salamanders, even octopi, oh my!

This is a full color, standard sized 78 card deck, which comes with a velvet bag. I'm working on an accompanying book next. I've only printed 50 decks, so if you're interested in one, message me!

Tossing Worries Meditation

Begin with some deep cleansing breaths, breathing deeper and deeper for 5 to 10 breaths. Relax each part of your body - head and neck, shoulders and arms, down your spine, hips and thighs, calves and feet, chest and belly. Say out loud or in your head, "I am calm, peaceful, and relaxed." 

Now visualize yourself going down to the ocean, a favorite river, lake, or pond. It could be real, something from a movie or TV scene, or completely made up. Make it as vivid as possible. Notice the sights, sounds, colors, textures, and tastes. Be aware of the time of day and the season of the year. Allow yourself to enjoy this special place that lives deep inside your imagination.

Discover a container with a light lid, cork, or lock. Maybe a cobalt blue bottle. Pick up pebbles, naming each of your worries, and pop them into the bottle. Take all the time you need. Notice the weight of each stone, how it feels in your hand, and the satisfying sound as you drop it into your container.

When it feels complete, put the lid on tightly, and seal it in any way that makes you feel safe and secure. Throw it into the water and visualize it sinking all the way to the bottom, deep, deep down, never to surface again. Notice how it feels to be released from your burdens and fears.

 

Take some deep breaths, returning into your body gently, Notice being present and conscious, alert, awake, and alive. Welcome back.

(Excerpt from Laphrodite's Guide to Mindful Menopause or the Adventures of a Baby Crone)