Whale Fall

Dear Dad,

Hope you are full of gentle quiet

Ashes, bits of bone, and debris

Scattered on the sea

Now layered, feeding the osedax

Snot covered flowers

Indeed

Pressed For Time

It is coming up on the first anniversary of my father's death. I've been working on a collection of poems, Pressed for Time: a Little Book of Grief. Creating this book was much like the stages of grief, as I went through shock, denial, negotiation, anger, and acceptance, not necessarily in that order, and some stages a few more times than others. Piecing together these ensembles was a part of my own healing, of feeling ripped apart and putting myself together, after not just the loss of my father but several other family members in the last few years.. 

I found it difficult to write after he passed, but little lines would float through my head, which I would then email to myself. This went on for about six months. Later I consolidated these, and chose Courier as the font, as it looks a little rough and raw, like my feelings. I printed them out on parchment paper, which I then shredded, line by line.

My stepson had gifted me a flower-press for my birthday. I began with the forget-me-nots and pansies that I had planted both at my father-in-law's gravesite as well as in my garden, along with other snippets from the various plants and bushes my father and I had planted together over the last three decades. Crocisimo, Euphorbia, English Roses as well as the Cecil Bruner, sprays of Salvia and ubiquitous fern.

During our stay in Carmel, I watercolored backgrounds in a sketchbook, simply free-flowing with the colors. I had been collecting rubber stamps for years, some of the rubber had decayed and certainly most of the inks had become dry and crusty, but they added an interesting layer. 

Finally, I assembled the pieces over a few months. I used Modge Podge to secure the dried flowers, standing the book up so the pages wouldn't stick together as they dried. I took photos of each page, some you've seen the last few months here on my blog. 

Mercury is going retrograde, and I have a feeling of tying up loose ends, completing projects, and really putting things at rest. 

Blessed be.

Letting Go

More than a thousand 

Peace cranes

Meditations

Secret frustrations

Friendships unfulfilled

 

Clearing

So nobody else goes

What the hell am I going to do

With all this dusty crap

 

Thousands Released

Paper cranes

Cancelled checks

All the same

 

Passed

Closed Dad’s eyes

Tried his jaw

Maybe he had

More to say 

 

Church of Chip

Forays

Camping thirsty minutes 

Away

New Brighton Beach

Yellowstone

Morro Bay

My time to

Light candles

Momo

Momo

Hiccups

Black cat

Itchy ears

Itchy feet

Want to travel

What do I 

Want to hear

Grief Like Hot Flashes

 

Grief Like Hot Flashes

Arise in a moment

Demand attention

Eventually, disperse 

Holding On

Holding On

I would have held on to

That burnt-out light bulb

For twenty years or more

If you had asked

I did lose the Queen of Hearts

If we meet

I'll have to take off my clothes

I returned the tombstone

Anti-apartheid Bear with

The leather feet

All the past

Treasures

Grieving Ritual

Grieving Ritual

Find a small ring-sized cardboard box or fabric pouch

Fill it with a pinch each of rosemary, sage, lavender 

Write on slips of paper

Names of what has died

Friends, relationships

Parents, ancestors, pets 

Children, grandchildren,, miscarriages abortions 

The children you will never know.

Add photos, locks of hair, old threads

Decorate the box, seal it shut

Wrap it in pretty paper 

Add a paper or fabric bow, just not plastic 

Choose whether to

Burn it - 

Cast the ashes 

To the wind, into the sea

Flush it away

Bury it - plant some seeds on top

Forget-me-nots, purple pansies,  catnip

Find a running stream

Weigh it down with stones, add

A carved heart

The watch that had seen better times

Feast

Lost Loves

My best friend

Lilly Billy little bit Silly

Sue who became Stu

Ice skating

Roller skating

That one black and copper velvet scarf

Mom’s platinum wedding band

My wooden file cabinet sold to make room for your furniture

The Canon camera found in San Francisco

Dad’s broken travel alarm clock  in the dark green leather case

Stained glass art supplies 

Cheesecake

Musings

I don't want to say that Death is my muse.

Just a hitchhiker
along for the ride
swap a story or two
part ways

I picked her up
on the way to San Diego
Last September
Now we journey
Back to Bonners Ferry

Backgammon
Ripping paper
Morgue

Somewhere on her GPS is
East Pueblo Street
Via Crostini
Walk Circle

I’d like her to be dropped off
For at least a little while,
Give room for a new passenger

Maybe Hope
Needs a ride
Home

Why do People use Hypnotherapy?

Since 1986 I have been reading the cards, charting the stars, leading people to their deepest and most heartfelt visions. I see tarot and astrology as a map, where my role is to be a guide, and people have free will and free choice to create direction in their lives. Yet people would stay stuck, at the crossroads, in their own emotional blocks or perceived limitations, which is how I came to be interested in hypnotherapy.

Hypnosis involves inviting a state of trance, a state of relaxed focused concentration, where one is more open to suggestion, particularly if they are your own suggestions. The solution always lies within, and my role is to facilitate my client discovering deep insights into their current situation, providing an opportunity for personal growth and change.

Psychotherapy is a wonderful tool, but can feel akin to taking a salt shaker and pouring it into your hand, examining every crystal, every traumatic or painful event, one by one, which can take years and years for the healing to occur. Hypnotherapy is chucking it over your shoulder, allowing for completion, closure, and willingness to stop perpetuating being a victim but to become one's own hero and best ally instead, to change one's inner critic to become one's inner coach instead.

My clients have ranged from seven year olds having nightmares to seventy year olds wanting to feel confident to pass their drivers test. A few other cases include:

• A client trying to decide whether to leave their marriage of twenty years used polarity to discover a third solution to the dilemma
• A pre surgery client who used hypnosis to harness their inner healer cut their recovery time by two thirds
• An executive trying to decide whether to leave the company or find a new position did a shamanic journey to receive important messages from internal guides
• A person with test anxiety who needed to upgrade their skills called upon their inner resources, specifically their fifth grade teacher and reinstated a joy of learning
• A college student who had extreme anxiety after leaving their parents now has anchored the calm they feel with them in their own hands, so at any time they can feel reassured
• A parent who was traumatized after witnessing their daughter's car getting hit, who wanted to change the "what if" mentality to "what is"
• Another parent who was quitting smoking as they thought about death twenty times a day and felt guilty about their kids and was in extreme fear of getting cancer, who is now anchored and has a ritual to remind them of feeling deeply content
• A being who was in touch with their own denial after their spouse entered rehab and has found a method to both contain and get rid of unwanted anger
• An emergency professional who experienced claustrophobia and panic attacks during their recertification who visualized passing with flying colors
• A firefighter who had experienced post traumatic stress after falling through a burning floor and discovered that fear was really their friend
• An entity with anorexia who was learning how to take care and nourish themselves by being in touch with their inner council of beings
• A client who was applying to go back to school for their masters who was dealing with procrastination and self sabotage, who has been using EFT for self acceptance
• A person with the compulsion to pull out their eyebrows and eyelashes who reframed this habit to picking the strings of their guitar
• A human who was getting off of anti depressants and was looking for natural methods to feel balanced and relaxed by learning breath work
• A person who wanted to experience past life regressions even though this is against their religious beliefs, thinks this will help them find new love
• A being who had been hospitalized for six months who wanted to learn pain management techniques in order to walk again

Whether you are going through a mid life crisis, Saturn return, feeling overly stressed or just reviewing what would make your life healthier and happier, hypnosis is a tool for you. All hypnosis is self hypnosis, and I will teach you techniques to feel calm, tranquil and relaxed; to change unwanted habits into healthier coping patterns, and give you the heartfelt encouragement and one on one coaching to create long term, personal successful solutions.

There is more information on my website, as well as frequently asked questions, and I now have self empowerment videos on Youtube including an introduction to hypnosis and a simple self hypnosis technique. Good clients for me is anyone ready to embrace change for a more peaceful existence by being willing to discover insights and live with more fullness. Call for your appointment today!

Glimmers of Hope

Awhile ago I had a client come in with chronic grief. I did a basic relaxation and count down to a "safe, comfortable place" and she felt she couldn't get "there-someplace pretty" but found herself in bed instead. We worked with the metaphor of carrying sorrow like a stone, and the particular purpose that served.

Today she came in for her third session. She was grinning from ear to ear, clearly elated, carrying a large canvas. This was soon to be revealed a painting of her experience during trance, and her insights over the next week as it developed.

In the center, a female figure is in a dark room looking out to a meadow filed with flowers, light, mountains, sunshine. To her right 2 women and a man sit at a poker table, while in a cloud of smoke above them many faces are revealed. This is her mother, grandmother, father and all her ancestors, who tie her to the dark. To the left in the corner are three points of light, which are "glimmers of hope."

While unfinished, it is a compelling piece, full of rich shadows and longings for passage, to bridge that imaginary threshold of limitations. The best part was my client saying she had so much fun making it - the first time she felt happy in years.

She lay down and we began the induction with the intention to basically pick up wherever she last left off, what ever was right for today. It was very deep and included a ritual to cut ties with her mother. She cried about feeling lonely, then was soothed when I had her ruminate on the word alone being "all one". At peace in the moment, I counted her out of the trance, and we discussed her experience further.

Turning to leave, she asked for a hug for the first time, then pointed to the painting. "those glimmers," she said, "they're you. They are what you have done for me. Thank you."

A Week in the Life of a Santa Cruz Hypnotherapist

I see about ten to fifteen clients a week at my West side office. Here is a sampling of a typical week for a Santa Cruz hypnotherapist:

• A person who suffers from insomnia. We made a recording they can listen to before bed to relax their body and mind as well as to remember more of their dreams.

• A parent, releasing grief after the death of their son. We have been doing a Reiki and hypnotherapy combination, biweekly sessions for two years, focused mostly on soul retrieval work. They're now inspired to open a skateboard park to commemorate their son.

• An initial hypnosis session for a business person interested in transforming stress and rage. We focus on peace and abundance, facing debts, pending divorce, and releasing pains in the neck.

• A student taking private tarot lessons. They started with weekly hypnotherapy sessions for 15 months, and is using self hypnosis for self empowerment. Now they are enrolled in the ten week program to learn professional tarot reading as a form of income.

• A regular client who has done monthly tarot readings for two years. This is their check in system and now they are doing weekly hypnosis sessions for deciding on a life path.

• A professional coming in for astrology lessons, who used hypnotherapy and reiki for personal transformation for the past nine months. Now they are digging deeper while going through job transition and seeking a soul mate.

• A new client for an astrology reading, who feels controlled by their relationships and seeking self realization and self actualization while creating an interdependent relationship with their new love.

• A student using hypnotherapy in order to control sugar for weight management/diabetes. Three sessions so far, has been drinking less, discovering new sensualist pleasures instead of food as a life reward

• An ongoing hypnotherapy client, looking for what makes their heart sing. We have been doing bi weekly sessions for one year now, focused on selling their business and getting in touch with inner council for financial advice. Now they are pregnant and planning on hypnobirthing for a healthy, easy birth and transition into parenthood.

• An athlete, using hypnotherapy in retraining body mind for sports enhancement. Uses visualization for both ingraining the perfect throw and to let go of any stress both during game and greater stresses in life, such as work, mother in law, inner critic, etc.

• A freshman in college, terrified of leaving home. We have done monthly sessions for 6 months, using hypnotherapy to anchor feelings of self esteem, love and acceptance.

There is a saying, "Discontent is the first step in progress". My ideal client is ready for change, willing to do the work, and open to new perspectives. I am here to counsel you in joy through experiencing insights for personal change and transformation. Call or email for your appointment today - the time is now!

Warmly,

Kayla

www.KaylaGarnetRose.com

831.435.5182

Feeling Out of Whack? Try Grounding, Cleaning and Aligning the Chakras

Mercury retrograde brings up a lot for everyone, and I notice it is not just cars that are our of alignment during this period. Backing up your computer is always a good thing to do, but what about rebooting your energetic being?

I decided to practice the exercises from The Psychic Healing Book by Amy Wallace and Bill Henken. Specifically: grounding, cleaning and aligning the chakras. I worked on myself three times over three days, then with a regular clients over two weeks. Both of us found it very useful, energizing and powerful.

For my self, I found it best to do the exercises while sitting out side on the deck in fresh air, aware of the blessing of California sunshine, drawing it's energy deep into my being. Afterwards I would do some weeding to literally touch the earth.

In the grounding exercise, I noticed that sending energy down the tailbone was very different from sending in through my legs and feet. There was a tingling in my sacrum and I could feel the earth energy rise with each inhale. In the clearing and aligning exercise, I found that sending orange light into each of the chakras felt quite refreshing. At the end of the meditation, I pushed the energy out my crown chakra to create a fountain of light around me, visualizing any chinks in my aura becoming whole and filled until I felt surrounded in a golden bubble. I noticed having lots of energy for the rest of the day.

The next two practice sessions each went a little longer, a little deeper. I experienced feelings of contentment and well being. I also experienced being able to stay in one chakra for a longer time, exploring colors, organs, smells, glands, feelings of imbalance and flashes of insight - that "aha!" feeling, of knowing what I need to do next for myself, spanning from going to acupuncture for a spring tune up to including grapefruit in my diet at this time. It was a great way to start each day and set intentions for my self and my clients.

Then I worked with an ongoing client of mine. This client has been a weekly reiki and hypnotherapy client for almost two years, grappling with the recent death of her son. Her affirmation is, "I had a life before, I will have a life again". The first practice went well, I certainly felt more grounded and present. The second session was really powerful.

Usually I start at the client's feet and ground them to the earth. This time I followed the exercise from the book. After having my client take in a few deep cleansing breaths, I began by running energy from dropping down from the base of her spine into the center of the earth, while gently touching her feet. Here we invited the earth energy to rise up through these roots to the sole's if her feet, through her bones, muscles, tissues, atoms and into each of the chakras, along her spine as well as hands and feet.

In a regular chakra tuning I would visualize the color that intuitively or traditionally corresponds to that particular chakra. This time I kept with visualizing the orange light from the center of the earth, coming up through the soles of my feet and through my body into my hands, and thus into the sole's of my clients feet. The energy was red and brown, and I had the impression of roughly hewn statues and carvings before my eyes, reminiscent of Mayan carvings, very tactile. When moving through each of her energy centers, I would experience visions which I would verbalized, all the while thinking, "just be an open channel."

When I reached the crown chakra, I had the client open to all of the celestial, universal and heavenly energies to meet with that earth energy and to pour it's wisdom and universal healing energy through her in any way that would be beneficial now. At this point I stopped speaking until the end of the appointment.

Usually this client will talk nonstop the entire session. From the moment we began she was completely silent, following my words and clearly going deeper and deeper into trance. I observed her eye lids flicker, breathing become more even and shallow, body clearly relaxing. I began to move up her body, moving from feet to knees to hips, touching lightly and feeling the pulses shift and change. My feet were tingling like crazy, as was my tail bone, with every inhalation I could feel pulling up that rich, red, brown earth energy and moving it easily into Joanne's body. With each exhalation, I felt the cool blue and violet, more wispy energies from the heavens, infusing her esthetic body. Behind my closed eyelids, I could easily see her aura, black to begin with then pulsing bright red.

When I got to her head, I sat down on a stool and place my hands on her face. I noticed I was pressing in a little, so consciously started to lighten my touch. The lighter my touch, the more I could feel our molecules melting away, and my fingers began to dissolve into her face. I had that moment of complete oneness, and as I breathed on her crown chakra I knew I was breathing into my self. I could scan down her body and easily see her skeleton, although bright green, with red spots flashing here and there. I wasn't aware of golden energy to send them, so just continued yo channel the reiki for the highest good.

I moved down her right side, touching her shoulder and hand. Here I had a vision that she was bailing out a life boat full to the brim with salt tears with a tea spoon. Suddenly she gabbed a toy bucket instead. The pint of view shifted, and you could see many people in the lifeboat, all helping her bail it out. Now her choice was whether to rejoin the cruise or head off to new waters.

I moved back down to her feet. I got down on my knees and held her ankles while sending orange light down her body, which was appearing electric blue. I stood up and very deliberately began squeezing on her feet and toes, bringing her back into her body, waking up every part slowly and gently. I gave her a long time to reorient then checked in after she drank some water.

She said she had never gone so deep, but it felt like being gently cupped and supported rather than being dropped. Three days later we met again to check in. She was in good spirits and was involved in creating a memorial mural for her son the surfer as well as a blood drive in his honor.

Since then, I have had the opportunity to practice this technique with six hypnotherapy students, several clients and as a part of my morning meditation with my life partner. I have experienced the effects on all levels - astral, etheric, physical, emotional, mental - and have been deeply grateful to do what I would consider a spring clearing of the soul, releasing emotional and mental clutter in particular, making way for increased energy and vitality.

Blessed be.