Radical Honesty

I was mulling the frozen tilapia when she turned the corner. Her cart almost touched mine. 

"Hi, I love your glasses!"

Sparkly rhinestone encrusted purple rims that match the silver and black ensemble. I admired the glitter of her matching eyeshadow and felt dowdy at best. I hadn't even put my nose rings in.

"Happy holidays! How are you?" she chirped.

There was a moment when it was so easy to slip into the little white lies that everything is just fine if not dandy

"My Dad died on December first. I'm still in shock so here's a little radical honesty."

One does not expect to process in the frozen food section at Trader Joe's, but she revealed her grandfather also recently passed.

We stood there, two women with recipes and grocery lists, errands and chores, just taking a moment to share space amidst crackers and gingerbread, shoppers and shelf stockers, more raw and vulnerable than the tender salmon steaks.

In a time where so many make New Year's resolutions - my teacher Lisa says revolutions - my intentions for this year and here on forward is to keep practicing radical honesty.

SLO Tattoo

Driving

How I love California

Valleys scarring

Golden hills

Arriving

Details and stencils

Inks, fine line, and filler

Last one is always the killer

Different pains

Burning, drilling, electric

Striated down through the belly

The hot knife that slices

Carving new vistas

Each scar is a story

Once scabbed, picked at, now

Healed, revealed, no longer raw

Simply incorporated 

Symbols, Sabien, or otherwise

Rite the tattoo experience

Pull the Sun, Three of cups

Understand

Willow leaves, sweet relief

Runic analgesic 

Cool summer breeze

Viola and Forget-Me-Not

Wheel of fortune

Wheel of fame

Let's remember

Lilith again

HRT

 

show me yes

show me no

show me

I don't know

third time

patch slips

not going to

fix this

rub bellies

lube jellies

warm up

cool down

tired of weeping

not sleeping

nightmares

My Key

This morning during meditation

Archangel Michael came to me

Kissed all my chakras open

Wrapped me in his wings

Poured liquid gold into the cracks of my broken heart

Wabi-sabi, it’s whole again

Kissed my sacred yoni

With tongues of fire

Kissed my soles and palms

Releasing the stigma of stigmata

Opened my crown and third eye

So I could see the brilliance inside

Healed my gut, pinched my butt

And told me to Enlighten up

Changing Woman

 

Changing Woman: Poems 2007 - 2016

Kayla used to be a priestess of Aphrodite, but she was such a bitch - all those lessons in love, including jealousy, heartache, misery, and despair. Now she is the Priestess of Laphrodite, Goddess of the Belly laugh. Laughter is the best medicine, but as far as Kayla was concerned, it's also the best lube. Reflecting a time of questing and questioning for our Baby Crone, she changes careers, discovers online dating, and fuels her passion for blogging. 

Compassion

The bully was bullied

The abuser, abused

How do I hold space

For both of the two

The Impossible Standard

The Impossible Standard

The problem with being a perfectionist

Is that you'll never cross off the whole list

There's always one more thing to do

Some mystery to solve, a cosmic clue

Every hair needs to be neatly in place

Not a trace of dust or mess in my space

All the dishes done, and the laundry too

Every weed pulled, bills paid, nothing due

Books all proofread, not a single mistake

Everyone thinks you're authentic, but feel like a fake

The occasional smile after a “How are you?”

Not revealing the truth, if they only knew

The depth of my anxiety, how I drown in fear

The shaking of my heart as I hold back my tears

Not thinking that I'm good enough, falling short

Making long-term plans, only then to abort

Business plans, projects, good intentions

So many ideas, too many to mention

Many a million-dollar idea not realized

Many a cherished dream that once I prized