The Cloak

Young and naive, she thought there was something wrong with her because she was sad all the time. Either she needed fixing or she was broken beyond hope.

She wore her depression like a cloak of invisibility. Desperate for attention yet hidden away. Unable to release the clasp at her throat. Let go of the heavy wet wool dragging her down.

She could take it off but she was afraid of being naked cold, vulnerable. Seen.

She would cry herself to sleep every night. The cat, her only comfort, licked away salty tears, purred reassurances, listened to all of her secrets.

When was it that someone would finally say,

"You're normal. 

You're different.

And that's okay."

Treading Lightly

 

I'm careful not to step on

The periwinkles by the front

Of the trailer while on my retreat

They seem so brave, so vulnerable

Little heads nodding in the wind

So easily crushed.

Yet they survive last night's hail storm

The fallen branch

Somehow better than I

Maybe it's their

“Tendrils of belief”*

Keeping them anchored

How do I unfurl

Trust the sun will shine again

And turn my face towards hope

*Quote from Adrienne Rich

F is for Family

 

F is for Family
Baby Katharine’s Alphabet Adventures

A special ABC to celebrate alternative, extended, blended, and birth families! 

Welcome to the world, Katherine,
How wonderful you will be!
Because you are the blossom,
Of the most amazing family tree!

Slices of Life: Stories, Recipes, Kitchens, Lists, and Tidbits.

My Living Cook Book

It is entitled "Slices of Life: Stories, Recipes, Kitchens, Lists, and Tidbits." Dedicated to my hubby and all of our delicious adventures.

I used the plain white plastic binder my teacher, Lisa Garrigues, gave us for our handouts. Next, I flipped through Santa Cruz Waves magazine to created collages for the front and back, sprinkling in tiny dragonfly stickers and gold stars. Then, I found an unopened pack of kitschy floral tab dividers and rustled up the handy dandy labeler.

I dictate my notebook because it's faster than typing. However, then the editor set in, as much as I wanted to be on a raw diet and reveal the bare bones of my process, I stewed, I chewed, I eschewed.

I chose Courier as my font because it looks the most like a typewriter. I combed through my file cabinet and unearthed ancient college-ruled paper from my daughter's high school; three column accounting paper; pale green graph paper that once was a favorite journal, empty pages torn out, the rest burned. I mixy-matched with my supply of "pretty paper" I keep on hand for printing out various holistic hand-outs. I also took a few photos of journal pages and simply printed them out.

It is divided into five sections -  Her Story, Recipes, Kitchens, Lists, and Tidbits. The meat of the book is the stories, my "Thoughts on" meme. There were several hefty pieces that took me days to write, most notably the insemination story. The tarot reading and a "History of Eating" also took quite a chunk of time. 

Accompanied by Kitchens with a side of Recipes, these are tasty morsels, some saucy, some juicy, some just plain bitter. Always good to stir it up.

The Lists act as a menu of writing prompts: Foods, Restaurants, Words, each one is its own appetizer and desert. 

Garnishing the cookbook is The Tidbits section, a few haikus and ramblings, a spring of fresh parsley to cleanse the palate.

Enjoy!

Peyton Street Co-Op

 

Peyton Street Co-Op 

My first two weeks in Santa Cruz, way back in the summer of 1987, I sublet my friend's room at the Peyton Street Co-op. I have no idea how many people actually lived there, there were so many girlfriends,boyfriends, lovers, renters, sub-letters, sub-sub-sub-letters. All I knew was just how many bicycles could be jammed into one hallway.

It was a crash course. Everyone was experimenting - with drugs, bisexuality, polyamory, and being gluten free.

I learned all about about macrobiotic diets. Introduced to tofu, tempeh, satin, and mung beans. Bulk foods - whole wheat flour, brewers yeast, tamari, tabbouleh, tahini, soy sauce, peanut butter, almond butter, cashew butter, remember to bring your own containers. Vegetables like eggplants, bok choy, the purple heirloom tomatoes, golden beets and my first encounter with goat cheese.

Everybody contributed. We shopped together and divvied up the bills. We took turns cooking and cleaning, much like the Womanist House at Wesleyan. We took amazing walks around the neighborhood, a sense of being a part of a group, a sense of belonging.

Once, we cooked a huge stir fry and realized the pan had not been seasoned, so we had all just ingested engine oil. A quick call to poison control assured us we would not get sick, but might feel a little more lubricated. 

 

Vibrissae

 

Vibrissae
A Collection of Cats, Facts and Whiskers

Inspired by the Santa Cruz Museum of Art And History's exhibit on local collectors, this book was a collaboration between a mother and daughter. Kayla Rose, a crazy cat lady at heart, has collected over a hundred cat whiskers that she found around the house over two decades from a medley of family pets. She wrote the poem to honor all the past, present, and future cats who bring joy into their lives. 

Recipe for Recurring Nightmares

Recipe for Recurring Nightmares

Black salt

Rosemary

Welcome mat

Sharpie

Dragon's Blood

Lavender

Amber resin

Write down your recurring dream. 

Who keeps showing up? 

What do they represent? 

What are they thinking about you? What do you think about them? 

Burn this in your cauldron, 

Along with some dragon's blood, Lavender, amber and sage. 

Watch it bubble and burble. Combine the ashes with salt - Kosher, sea salt, Himalayan or Otherwise. Sift thoroughly.

Walk around your space, house Spread evenly. Bless every Corner, quadrant, 

Find a System

Easy to remember

Resonates like childhood.

Crush two sprigs of rosemary 

Under the welcome mat

Where you have written in permanent ink (hence the sharpie) Only those who love me are welcome here now - All those who would do me harm are repelled - this or something better now occurs for the greatest good.

Circle your house, circle your space. Clean the windows with some white vinegar, let in new light.

Take the remainder ashes and bones to flowing water - not the ocean, the waves will bring it back - with the intention to let all the past be now swept away, gone, gone, gone 

Now and forever. 

So mote it be