Day 13 - How to Procrastinate
Life should consist in at least 50% pure waste of time, and the rest doing what you please. - Isabel Patterson
Decide there is something you need to do today. Put it on a list. As the morning unfolds, notice what is being scratched off above and below it. Start to feel some anxiety. Now almost all of the list is finished. Start a new list. Decide it needs to be rewritten in sharpie. Add things to the list you've already done, have the satisfaction of scratching them out. Highlight project in yellow.
Decide it is time. Or that you have the time. Or that you are willing to do it for 20 minutes. Gather up everything you need. Too early for wine, maybe a cup of soothing green tea? Notice the kitchen counter is full of breadcrumbs, start cleaning. As long as you've got the broom out, might as well sweep the front porch, after all it is important for Feng Shui as it represents Career/Life Path. Prune the geraniums, consider what needs to be watered, add “wash car.”
Come back inside, go pee, observe project all laid out on the kitchen table. Better go brush teeth, shower, change clothes, make the bed, set the Roomba to work. Time to check emails, texts, Instagram, the guild competition, collect coins and crystals on June's Journey, do the Spelling Bee, Letterbox, save the New York Times crossword puzzle to be a reward for finishing the project.
Sit down. Align everything on the table. Think about all the other projects on your list, how great it will feel when they are done. Pick up your pen. Let the cat out. Let the cat in. Feed the cat. Wash the water bowl and put in fresh water with an ice cube because it's hot outside today. Smoke a bowl, have a little snack, notice the thermostat, put on the fan, add “replace filters.”
Pet the cat. Take pictures of the cat. Post to Facebook. Check other posts. Google “News.” Scroll through endless sound bites. Ask Siri to see more of this and less of that. Delete photos. Delete old emails. Delete old email addresses. Clear call history. Delete all old texts. Feel virtuous.
Sit down, organize papers, review what has been done, staple, collate, go look for paper clips in the junk drawer. Organize the junk drawer. Rearrange the cork bulletin board according to the principles of Feng Shui. Clean the trash can, look in the fridge, look in the freezer, look in the pantry. Almost out of almonds. Add to list. Empty the dish rack, the dishwasher, consider doing laundry, even though it's already on next week's list. Put on some music. Breathe now that everything is clean, tidy, organized, and just so. Let the cat in. Let the cat be on your lap. Now you're truly immobilized. After some time passes, move the cat gently. Put your project on your lap. Give it your full attention. Begin today's writing prompt, "Write about something you know how to do."
