Romance is Imperative

Church of Zumba

There is an inexpressible joy
An ecstasy in rhythmic movement
I call this my
Smiler-cize

My body is wordless
yet knows all the lyrics
the steps well
before my mind

I quench a deeper thirst each time
I make the decision to be here
in Church of Zumba
arms stretched, heart pounding
My hips Salsa, my feet Cumbia
Here is my sacred community

The hardwood floors preserve
The stomps and punches
of the kick boxers before us
The mirrors reflect
Our personal goals

We create conversations of sweat
dialogs and choruses as we
move in sync, discovering
our individual movements
even as we dance as one

Warm up, cool down
So much repetition
So different every time

Each week there are us regulars
and the brave neophytes
A fluctuating tribe of women
learning to love
 the strength
in their bodies, the glory
of perspiration

In this moment we are Shakira
Madonna, Lady Gaga, every Las Vegas showgirl
We are fluid and flexible
we clap our hands and sigh
With relief, stretching our tendons
lengthening our breath

We pour out into the parking lot
Waving goodbyes, drinking more water
This holy moment directs my day, my week
long after
My purifying shower.

October 2010

Listening to Silence

I love listening to Silence. She is a friend of mine. Never a gossip or a chatterbox, we are quite comfortable together. I usually pick her up at the High School after dropping off my teenager, giving her a ride back into town, the sound of the wheels on the freeway and the hum in my head join our quiet chorus.

    We live well together, Silence & I, in the times my daughter is at her other parents’, the times my lover is at his place. We move through the house together, fussing over the angle of a photograph, the feng shui of a chair. With the stealth of the cat, we pad around, tying back the curtains we agree on sunlight and plenty fresh air.

    My lover is jealous of us, feels threatened by Silence, always trying to come between us, trying to fill the gaps with conversation, fearful that I am somehow bored with him and thus courting Silence. But these are the moments when I feel truly at peace, listening to the hum of the tires as the landscape flicks by, the bubbling of morning coffee before we talk about our dreams, the sound of his breath before gently falling asleep.

    We often have lunch with my Dad, who accepts Silence as my chosen companion, and the three of us are relaxed together in the busy cafe. There is no need to impress each other, to discuss the quality of light, the taste of feta and cranberries in our harvest salads, the feel of the plastic tables pretending to be made of wood. We have already reached consensus in sharing our time together, in noticing the lady wearing her slippers with just an arch of an eyebrow.

    Silence has much to say to me. She whispers in my ear, she whispers in my heart, and she holds all of my secrets safe. I listen attentively, a good pupil, always the student, never the master, as I easily live up to my nick name Rambling Rose, trying to validate oh so clumsily in the places where Silence remains simply, sweetly, softly eloquent.


October 2010

next time

next time

bring a sippy cup
a warm shawl
a flash light

bring less stuff
less to do
nap more

October 2010

Risk to Bloom

What My Heart Tells Me

What My Heart Tells Me

    My heart tells me: Thank you, thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for nourishing and exercising me. it makes my job so much easier. I love being your heart. I love bringing all that rich, oxygenated blood up to your brilliant brain and down to your twinkly toes. I love taking away all the carbon dioxide/ the lactic acid, the emotional toxins out of your system. I love being in the center of your body, the center of your being.

    I feel safe in your chest. I feel safe having your ribs gently encircling me, giving me room to breathe, room to grow.

    There are times when I felt battered and bruised, tired and sad, overburdened or just plain stressed. Thank you for taking the time to tend to my wounds, to listen to my woes, to fill me with morsels of hope.

    There are times when I have overjoyed, full of optimism, excitement and enthusiasm. I love being in love and I love the way I expand in your chest when you expand in trust instead of contracting in fear.

    I am your loyal heart. I am always here for you and you can always count on me. Thank you for taking the time to pray with me, to play with me, and above all, thank you for listening to me.

October 2010

Power of the Mother