Bitter, me?

Bitter, me?
Oh yes, one of my five tastes
Sweet, savory, salty, pungent
and then there's bitter...

My bitterness is not
Organic, green, dandelion leaves or ginger
Hot, cold, Swedish or otherwise
A tonic

My bitterness is not
Organic, shade grown, black tea or coffee
Hot, cold, Italian or otherwise
An amphetamine

My bitterness is
Organic, intense, dark, the heart of the cocoa bean
Pure, chocolate, sweetened with cream and always
An aphrodisiac...

Bring Back my Smiley to Me

You might not be sure what I'm saying
You might not be sure what to think
Am I raising an eyebrow
Or trying to show you a wink?

Bring back, bring back
Bring back my Smiley to me, to me
Bring back, bring back
Bring back my Smiley to me

You might not see me blushing
Or even my face in a frown
Maybe I’m blowing kisses
Who knows, my menu is down

Bring back, bring back...

Last night as I lay on my pillow
Last night as I lay on my bed
Last night as I lay on my pillow
I dreamed that my Smiley was dead

Bring back, bring back...

I sent a message to tech support
I emailed them my plea
Help me with my emoticons
And bring back my Smiley to me

Bring back, bring back...

I miss rolling in laughter
Sticking my tongue out in glee
Winking right back at you
Please bring back my Smileys to me!

Bring back, bring back
Bring back my Smiley to me, to me
Bring back, bring back
Bring back my Smiley to me!

Received/Replied

Email received:

I am the swimmer who can't swim!!
I am the driver that can't find the road!!
I am the jumper who can't jump!!
I am the seer that can't see!!
I am the seeker who can't find!!
But worst of all!! I am the man with out you!!

My reply:

If you can't swim, walk.
If you can't find the road, follow the stars.
If you can't jump, hop.
If you can't see, listen.
If you can't find, know.
And best of all, if you are the man without me,
Then find the woman without you...
She's closer than you think....

Blessed be.

Muses on Runcible Spoons

Edward Lear's best-known poem, The Owl and the Pussycat, published in 1871, includes the passage

They dined on mince and slices of quince,
which they ate with a runcible spoon.

Another mention of this piece of cutlery appears in the alphabetical illustrations Twenty-Six Nonsense Rhymes and Pictures. Its entry for "D" reads

The Dolomphious Duck,
who caught Spotted Frogs for her dinner
with a Runcible Spoon

Lear does not appear to have had any firm idea of what the word "runcible" means. His whimsical nonsense verse celebrates words primarily for their sound, and a specific definition is not needed to appreciate his work. However, since the 1920s (several decades after Lear's death), modern dictionaries have generally defined a runcible spoon to be a fork with three prongs, such as a pickle fork, which is curved like a spoon, and also has a cutting edge. It should be noted that this definition is not consistent with Lear's drawing of a "runcible spoon", mentioned above, nor does it account for the other "runcible" objects in Lear's poems.

* Scroobious is an adjective which he applied to people in some of his verses, including the unfinished "Scroobious Pip." It seems to imply disapproval of their conduct, although the Pip is "the wisest" of whatever sort of beast he may be. It may be a pseudo-Latin derivative of screwball. The word has since been used by other people.

See also

* spork

Which is your favorite word: Runcible, Scroobius or Spork?

Bedside Reading

I don't feel happy unless i have a big stack of books by my bed. I tend to buy three at a time, and usually read one fiction and one nonfiction, plus a journal concurrently.

Right now there is:
Sex Matters: From Sex to Superconsciousness by Osho
Red Thunder & Red Lightning by John Varley
Pillow: Exploring the Heart of Eros by Lily Pond
The Tale of Tom Kitten by Beatrix Potter
Complete Sonnets by William Shakespeare
The True Game by Sher S. Tepper
The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett

What books are by your bedside table?

Talking to myself

“Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves for we will never cease to be amused.” - anon

Some things I know about myself:
I am self reliant, self sufficient, and self supported.
I am self employed - I get to choose my OWN eighty hours a week.
I am self disciplined, extremely organized & efficient.
I have self worth, self respect, and self esteem.
I self pleasure, I am self satisfied, I am self contained.
I am self actualized, self fulfilled, and self regenerating.
I am frickin' lonely.

Years ago, in one of those true, new age hippy dippy santa cruz crunchy granola moments, I decided to marry myself. I loved my boyfriend dearly, but realized at some point we were never going to hear those wedding bells.

So I wrote some lovely vows to myself, bought myself a beautiful, expensive diamond & opal ring set in white gold, went to the ocean for a ritual with myself, and witnessed myself promising to love myself.

Well, time went on & I realized I was pretty bored with myself. Not wanting to cheat on aforementioned boyfriend, I decided to have an affair with myself. Every time he took a shower, I reached for the hitachi. Ditto when he mowed the lawn. It got to the point when my affair was taking over my life, and I caught myself sneaking off at parties to do myself in the bathroom.

Of course, once I stopped putting energy into my real relationship... well, that’s another story. So I found myself by myself, feeling all lonely and bitter, and wondering why I was single. Then it occurred to me - I wasn’t available! I was still always with myself!

So I divorced myself. Yep, went back down to the ocean, thanked myself for all the wonderful gifts from the relationship with myself, and chucked that expensive-ass diamond ring into the ocean. I still wonder who will it find it.

I love myself and I’m still best friends with myself, in fact, right now, I’m going to go play with myself. If you don’t think I’m a complete kook, come play with me sometime... I’m finally free!

After shock

Last night

you asked me
why I cried

Heaving naked sobs
against your chest

What can I say
except

After the earthquake
Tsunami