New Moon in Aquarius

Happy Chinese New Year: Year of the Ox

Today's ritual:

I went to a baby shower for a friend last fall, and one of the hostess gifts was a packet of seeds - Sweet peas in Cupid Pink, to be exact. They have been sitting in a dish on one of the around the house altars for awhile, gathering energy, if not dust. Fairy dust, of course.

Sun and New Moon are conjunct in Aquarius today, thus begins the Chinese New Year, Year of the Ox. The Ox, like Taurus the Bull, is a tenacious & thorough beast, gentle, patient, strong & full of determination (Obama is a Metal Ox). Tapping into this energy, I cupped my hands around the seeds and began a prayer:

Let these be
The Seeds of Change
The Seeds of Peace
The Seeds of Love
The Seeds of Hope
(and everyone's favorite)
Seed Money
Now...
Blessed Be.

I then proceeded to plant five seeds in each of my Feng Shui power stations, starting in Child/Creativity, perfect for this is also the time of Brigid, Goddess of Inspiration. I take a moment to pull out some weeds, my negative thoughts, creating space for new life to grow.

I moved on to Helpful People. This corner of my yard touches my neighbor Jim, who has always been helpful to me. May I be helpful in return. I might not be able to do anything about the war in the Middle East, but I can reach out to my immediate neighbor. May the seeds of peace flourish between us.

I planted the five seeds in containers on my front deck & along my front path for Career/Lifepath, reflecting upon both the limits of the vessel for growth and the ease to nurture & tend to those seeds as a result, and how to apply to my own profession now.

The Self-Knowledge corner kisses my other neighbor's Helpful People spot. A rambling rose grows from my yard, through and along the fence, into their yard. Let my wisdom be helpful, rambling rose that I am.

I move to the backyard, along the fence which hosts Family/Ancestors, and before pushing each round seed into the dark moist earth, I take a moment to say each my grandparent's names, and my dearest Aunt who still lives in Italy, inspiring me with her adventuresome travels despite going blind.

Moving into Power/Wealth, the prayer seems more potent. I plant the seeds in between the Sweet William & the Primula (my little winter cabbages, as I like to think of them), which are looking quite perky after the recent rains, deep fuscia & burgundy blossoms with a touch of yellow at the center. I name my five intentions for my business, visualizing their growth over the next year.

By now the cats have noticed I'm in the yard, and have abandoned the gopher posts to assist me in circumnavigating the garden. I take the time to pet & pamper my sweet familiars, right there in Fame/Reputation. There is no doubt I will always be known as a cat lover...

I reach Love/Union/Marriage. I audibly sigh as I reflect upon all the good work I have done in this power spot. It has been more than nine months since I last had any interest in a partnership, let alone dating & mating, and I find myself rededicating myself to my lost goddess, Aphrodite. I am ready to love again. I chuckle to myself as I contemplate watering & nourishing my beloved seeds - here's one place maybe I do need some Miracle Grow.

Let these be
The Seeds of Change
The Seeds of Peace
The Seeds of Love
The Seeds of Hope
and Seed Money...

I complete my circle, I come to the center, and find myself in a patch of pale winter sunlight, the dark rain clouds laughing in the background. It is Lunar Imbolc - 6 weeks from Solstice, six weeks til Equinox. I am this sharp edge of shifting light, and I find myself laughing - laughing with delight.

May all your heartfelt wishes blossom.

Blessed Be.

Letter from Joanna Macy

October 27, 2008

Dear People,

Well, it's happened. The financial meltdown so long predicted has begun for real. Even if we knew it had to happen, it's scary. Stock markets crashing, foreclosures skyrocketing, the biggest banks going belly up, jobs disappearing. With so much suffering for so many, and more losses foretold, it's hard not to feel the panic.

I'm scared of what that panic will do to our country--corroding our trust in each other and in the future, when we need it for the Great Turning. At moments I feel fear about my own life, wondering what it will mean for Fran's and my work for the world, if the cushion of savings he's so carefully husbanded evaporates.

So I am grateful for teachers who, at just the right moment, remind me to hold a larger perspective. Here are three who have been of particular help: Minqi Li, Robert Reich, and Granny D.

Minqi Li is economics professor at University of Utah. He shook me awake to the realization that this economic collapse, far worse than anything since 1929, is what life on this planet needs for the survival of complex life-forms. He says that in order to cut greenhouse gas emissions sufficiently to avoid irreversible climate disaster, "the world economy must contract at a historically rapid clip--at an annual rate of -1 to -3.4 % between now and 2050…. Economic growth will have to be thrown into reverse."

The retrenchment he sees as necessary is about 55% over a span of 40 years; that is what occurred over four years in the Great Depression. As Stan Cox of AlterNet points out, everything depends on how the economic contraction is handled. If chaotic efforts are made to restore capital accumulation, life on Earth will continue to deteriorate. To cure the malignant economic growth that we've unleashed, new ways of thinking and acting must come from the bottom up and from both hemispheres of this ailing planet. The turbulent times that lie ahead may offer the opening we've been waiting for.

According to Robert Reich, Secretary of Labor under Clinton, the "deep recession" he foresees is the direct result of the economic inequality we've created. His analysis suggests that this economic failure is the price of moral failure.

The top 1 percent of American earners take home about 20 percent of total national income. Reich says the last time that happened was 1928; after that the economy caved in. "The wealthy," he reflects, "devote a smaller percentage of their earnings to buying things than the rest of us because, after all, they're rich and already have most of what they want. Instead of buying, they're more likely to invest their earnings wherever around the world they can get the highest return… The underlying problem of such imbalance in earnings has been masked for years: first by sending more women into the work force, till working mothers with school-age children almost doubled since 1970, to more than 70 percent. The second coping mechanism was working more hours, till Americans became veritable workaholics, putting in 350 more hours a year than the average European. Then came a third way of coping: to borrow... But now with the bursting of the housing bubble, we've reached the end of our ability to borrow, just as lenders have reached the end of their capacity to lend. That means there's not enough purchasing power in the economy to buy all the goods and services it's producing.

"We're finally reaping the whirlwind of widening inequality and ever more concentrated wealth… The long-term answer is for America to invest in its working people--health insurance, good schools and higher education, while also investing in the clean-energy technologies of the future, and adopting progressive taxes at federal, state and local levels. Call it bottom-up economics. It would be a sad irony of the Wall Street bailout robs us of the resources we need in order to do that."

Nine years ago at the age of 90, Doris Haddock, known as Granny D, walked 3,200 miles across the country to promote limits to corporate rule. Two weeks ago in Philadelphia, she shared her memories of the Great Depression and urged us to stop viewing it as a time of horror.

"Maybe we were hungry sometimes, but did we starve? No, because we had our friends and family and the earth to sustain us. Our memories of that time are more round and golden than sharp-edged. My husband Jim made an ice rink from a little meadow, and he made a few dollars extra those winters of the Depression. I learned to put on one-woman plays and performed in women's clubs here and there, making the rest of what we needed. We were fountains of creativity. We were fountains of friendship to our neighbors. As a nation, we were a mighty river of mutual support."

Read on. Granny D's words are such wonderful medicine for us all right now that I'll not interrupt her till I sign off.

"Imagination! Let me suggest that a generation raised on books and storytelling, where one's own imagination had to fill in the colors and details, made us a generation quite able to imagine marvelous ways to fill our family dinner table in those years. Let me suggest that the power of imagination was essential to the rise of all the grand improvements we achieved for each other and called our New Deal. Imagination allows the citizen and the politician to connect with people of every situation and condition.

"The foundation of right-wing politics is a grand absence of imagination. If you cannot imagine what people need until it happens to you, then I suggest you have never read a mystery book under your covers by flashlight…

"I want to tell you - especially if you are young and have not experienced true hard times - that there is nothing much to it, if you will insist on creatively and ferociously loving the friends and neighbors around you. And fifty or seventy years from now, if you are blessed with a long life, you will count those years as being some of your best, as indeed I do…

"Fear for the loss of material things is but the jitters of an addict, and the jitters go away once we relax into whatever new world we find ourselves come into…

"If you own stocks, you own a small percentage of the nation's economy. It's like owning a family business. Some years your shares will be worth a lot, some years they will not. But they are your piece of the action and you should hold onto it. You might even use the current low prices as an opportunity to increase your share of the pie.

"Our real challenge is not the disaster caused by the deregulation of Wall Street, for which my friend Senator McCain must answer, but instead it is the dislocations -- economic, food supply, coastline and weather dislocations -- caused by our continued use of fossil fuels and the resulting warming of our atmosphere that is our real emergency and the true challenge for our character.

"And I want you to understand that you must see beyond the distraction of these present headlines to the true challenges ahead, which have little to do with Wall Street and everything to do with changing the very ways we live, so that intelligent life on earth might prosper and survive."

Amen!

Yours in glad solidarity,

Joanna

Today’s Tarot Reading

I am the fool - And I am complete as I put the last piece in place
I am the fool - And I attract my lover to the highest octave
I am the fool - And I think about the source of happiness
I am the fool - And I feel the flowering of my abundant feelings
I am the fool - And I show my structures crumbling
I am the fool - And I analyze my maturity daily
I am the fool - And I no longer compromise in my relations
I am the fool - And I transform my politics
I am the fool - And I seek living moment to moment
I am the fool - And I use the tiger of success
I am the fool - And I’m different through my break through
I am the fool - And I transcend my concept of courage

I am the fool - And I step lightly, gaily
free into the vast unknown, blithe in my ignorance
of all new beginnings

kgr, August 2004

Thoughts on Work

I just finished reading The Four Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss, which was recommended by one of my colleagues. There are some great ideas and excellent resources in this book, although it does tend to smack of yet another get "new rich" quick scheme. I am well aware that the author is only in his early thirties, and it remains to be seen just how sustainable his finances and lifestyle plan really is in the long run.

I think I would have been more convinced if the author hadn't bragged about winning his kick boxing championship by merely pushing his opponents off the ring, but who am I to look a gift loophole in the mouth. He has an entertaining website complete with worksheets to create your NR (New Rich) lifestyle, blogs & twitters on his latest escapades, which makes me wonder if he's bored without meaningful work to wake up to in the mornings.

I did get a lot out of the 80/20 rule. 80% of your profits come from 20% of your clients - send them love letters, if not chocolate (my advice, not Mr. Ferriss'). 80% of your problems come from 20% of your clients - fire them. Delete them from your mailing lists, etc, stop wasting time, money & effort. I can't tell you how good it has felt to fire a few of my clients, especially when I calculate the emotional price I have paid.

I loved Mr. Ferriss' break down on minimizing emails and his advice to simply avoid as many meetings as possible, and have switched as much of my work to be more remote as well as to create a more mobile & efficient work environment. Already my life is simpler. Now if I could only get my virtual assistant to take my mother out to lunch instead of me, my life would be perfect.

Spirit Razor

Today

I tattooed passion
Across my chest
Feeding my heart
My hummingbirds
And double happiness

The needle skipped over my ribs
Close to the bone
The pain shot up my arm
Like the symptoms of a heart attack

Spirit Razor
Inscribing my flesh
With the passion of a Christ
At least Jesus loves me

Later I pruned the dead azalea
Cut out the faded bamboo
Encouraged the jade
To stay succulent

I ripped apart the mattress
Soaked with the sweat
Of death and nightmares
Back to the earth
It is the time of Virgo

I sort through the chaff
And harvest my abundance
I am discriminating
And I am Whole
Unto Myself
Today

kgr, August 2004

Fifty Percent

From the Altar Egos Series:
"Positive Affirmations to Heal a Nation"
Copyright kgr 2004

Every Breath is a Gift

For almost two months now, I have been struggling for my health. Specifically, I've been struggling to get a breath. Ever since my birthday, when I was dealt a double emotional wallop, I have been doing everything in my power to regain my balance.

Every muscle hurts, as every cell feels starved for oxygen, and a deep depression has set in, seeing as Zumba has been out of the question. I felt blown off by my doctor, as I desperately tried to refill my Albuterol prescription, my quick relief in a crisis; yet stuck in a financial bind concerning the standard protocol to control asthma, as I can't afford the prescription, which costs more than 10% of my monthly income. And I'm talking about just the copay.

I was diagnosed with asthma before the age of two. For the first 14 years of my life, I was constantly in & out of the doctor's office, being tested for this, tested for that, coming up positive to all 80 allergens. I used an inhaler four times a day, had weekly shots, countless other pills, potions, supplements & syrups, and the most hated of all, "Strong Man Medicine" which I think consisted of some dreadful combination of brewers yeast and black strap molasses.

After moving to Santa Cruz some twenty years ago, I have switched to using herbs & acupuncture, yoga & meditation to control my asthma. Everything seemed fine until the moth spraying last year, when all hell broke loose in my lung cavity. I took the cortical-steroids for a winter, but harbored a deep cough all last year, as well as being concerned about developing thrush & other related side effects. Then we had the wild fires here in California, and everyones bronchial tubes have been compromised. To add to the mix, I put 4 ribs out overextending myself in some African dance move during Zumba; my sweet sister moved in with her lovely, but incredibly long haired, Siamese cat, and my trigger happy histamines have been throwing a party in my bloodstream ever since.

Asthma is a complex disability. An invisible disability, it has kept me from doing so many "normal" things, from mowing the lawn to petting the ponies at the zoo to playing hockey at PE. There are so many triggers, that like migraines, it is a combination that will set off an attack, as well as dictate the severity. Environmental allergens, pet hair, dust, detergents play there part, but so does stress and the emotional component. Melissa Etheridge sings in my head,

Longing for home again
Home, is a feeling I buried in you

I'm alright, I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe

My voice shook and I teared as I informed my daughter of my current condition, not wanting to worry her, but needing to be real. Quite simply, I have never felt just so plain scared. There is nothing like the feeling of not being able to breathe. Of waking up in the middle of the night, drowning in my own fluids. Of the tight constrictive band that is my lungs. Of the rattling wheeze as I drive home as fast as I can to reach my inhaler. I talked to her about my fears as well as my current health plan. She put her tender arms around my neck, leaned her forehead against mine and just whispered, "It's going to be okay, Mom. I know you're good taking care of yourself."

6 weeks of hell feeling welded into an iron corset, and now I'm getting better. I owe a huge debt to my acupuncturist, who treated me weekly, cupping my back until huge bruises blossomed, drawing out stagnant chi. She gave me the most intense treatments - Four Horsemen in the thighs, and Three Scholars in my forearms. For the first time ever I bruised from the needles. For the rest of the week I would massage the plum blossoms on my forearm, pretending I was massaging my lungs instead.

She put me on an intensive herbal regime to clear my mucous & build up my blood, including herbs such as Clear Mountain Air and Allerplex, which is some bovine lung extract. Sounds icky, but boy do I feel better. Also Vitamin C and Calcium Lactate. Each day I would feel less underwater, visualizing in my mind's eye fresh spring growth on the end of a huge tree, my bronchial tubes growing stronger every day. I steam cleaned all the carpets, changed the furnace filters, banned the cat's from the bedroom, and even (gasp) stopped drinking for awhile. Clean living indeed.

Just now read your blog
I must be the stupidest
Woman on the earth.

Asthma is a psychosomatic illness, and I have definitely felt the psycho. My last lover contacted me, saying the situation had changed. Then I opened Pandora's box and read on their blog all about their current new love affairs. I felt all the hope crushed out of me, worse than being stoned alive. In Chinese Medicine, they say grief is kept in the lungs, and all I have felt for the last two months is this deep sadness, of that part of me that is dying. The part that is dead. I dance with Kali Ma again.

In the Daughters of the Moon tarot, the Heirophant is replaced by the Oppression card. A woman is stoned to death outside her hut. I went to a counselor to get help in casting off my own stones that have been crushing my heart: deep shame, regret and remorse, compromise, self doubt, and the biggest stone of them all: guilt. The Heirophant is the false priest, but what has slayed me most was false hope.

Neptune, that lovely planet of fog & veils, of disappointment and disillusionment, has finally turned direct in Aquarius, which for me is in my house of relationships. I called my Reiki teacher for a distance healing. When she asked me to set an intent, it was quite simply, "Clarity." Each day I pray, may this fog of despair be lifted, may I see a new day ahead. Let me no longer be under an illusion, let me have fresh vision instead. Let my lessons be more gentle, and let my teachers be kinder. And let every breath be a gift.

Blessed be.