Attraction

Fire on the Mountain

BONNY DOON - The Martin Fire, which erupted not far from the Bonny Doon Fire Station just before 3 p.m. Wednesday, had consumed about 700 acres late Wednesday and is expected to grow to 1,500 acres before it's controlled, Cal Fire officials said. -Santa Cruz Sentinel

Driving home from work yesterday along route one, I noticed the plume of orangy grey clouds in the sky. "Hmm, fog doesn't usually come from the mountains" I thought, "Looks almost like a fire." By the time I reached the intersection with route 9, traffic had stopped to let firetrucks through. I was amazed not to smell any smoke, as we could after the Corralitos fire three weeks ago.

Arriving home I went online to find the story and google map the situation, feeling a rising panic in my chest. My house mate returned home early from her job at UCSC, and we started making evacuation plans. I went and looked at my earthquake kit, and we laughed as I pulled out the world's tiniest fire extinguisher, "We're safe now!"

I walked around the house in a slight daze, wondering what to pack. The cat carriers came down first, a quick travel bag of my essential medications, rustled through all my secret money magic stashes for cash, backed up both computers, and stuffed my briefcase with important papers, ie house insurance!

I had planned on going roller skating, but when my friend called I was too freaked out and canceled. I kept going from room to room watching the smoke in the sky, then sitting at the laptop trying to figure out how fast was it really spreading. I felt sick and shaken to the core, pacing back & forth to the bathroom until I finally threw up.

"Get grip, KayKay, take a chill pill" the voice in my head told me, so I called my friend back to at least have some distraction. We ended up walking to Natural Bridges and back, using up all of my nervous energy. The wind had died down considerably after the sunset, and I began to feel more grounded.

I went to bed late, getting up several times in the night to look out the window & check the internet. At dawn, I could see the cloud of smoke just sitting on the mountain, but could find no updates.

After the Corralitos fire I wrote a prayer for all the bugs & wildlife that died, but I couldn't find it this morning for my blog, so here I am just rambling on instead. It's now 7:13 and I can hear fire engines and dogs barking, not a winning combination for early morning tranquility.

Pray for the bugs, my friends, and all the displaced beings, human & otherwise, who lost their homes in the wildfires this summer.

Blessed be.

Arise

From the Altar Egos Series:
"Positive Affirmations to Heal a Nation"
Copyright kgr 2004

Now available from www.cafepress.com/ramblingrose

Moth to the Flame

How glorious it feels
Moth to the flame
Only to have
My wings burned again

Kicking Ass

Dear Clara and Dio,

I just want to take a moment to tell you how much I am enjoying Zumba with Clara & Brenda at Minorsan. I have recently been taking free classes at other studios in Santa Cruz, and it has made me aware of a few things I’d like to share:

• I appreciate the warm & friendly way I have been greeted, right from the start. The Thank You card was a nice follow up, and I am impressed with how personable everyone has been at Minorsan.

• I appreciate how clean and tidy you keep the studio. It is bright & cheery, well lit, and I notice everything done beautifully, from how well the garden is maintained to the lack of clutter in the office. The changing room & bathrooms are always clean & tidy. It is truly a pleasure to attend your studio.

• I appreciate that you start and stop on time! Without knowing anything about martial arts myself, I appreciate a sense of discipline & orderliness of Minorsan that comes through in your Zumba classes.

• I appreciate how much you kick ass! This class is by far the sexiest, most fun, and most heart pumping work out in all the sessions I’ve attended in Santa Cruz! In just a month, I notice my body & endurance changing, and a continue to laugh when I catch myself smiling in the mirror. I love this class, and all it inspires in me.

There are other things, ranging from excellence in music to the time you take to teach the steps to the fact that using a head set makes a huge difference to the student. The only thing I would want different is for Zumba to be offered every day. Thank you so much for offering this class.

I will continue to invite my friends & colleagues to your class, as well as promote both Minorsan & Zumba for excellence in fitness.

Blessed Be,

K.

Thoughts on Happiness

Happy: characterized by or indicative of pleasure, content, or gladness; delighted, pleased

(My friend found this left by accident in a photocopy machine and gave it to me. I decided to sit and make a list & wrote the following.)

What makes me happy? When do I feel happy? How will I make myself by happy?

1. Looking things up in the dictionary makes me happy
2. Journaling, writing, blogging makes me happy
3. Drawing, sketching, painting makes me happy
4. Organizing and being efficient makes me happy
5. Gardening makes me happy
6. Walking makes me happy
7. ZUMBA makes me REALLY happy lately
8. Biking makes me happy
9. Rollerskating makes me happy
10. Dancing makes me happy
11. Singing out loud makes me happy
12. Listening to new music makes me happy
13. Listening to people makes me happy
14. Telling jokes & stories makes me happy
15. My car (& it's gas mileage) makes me happy
16. Talking with Mango makes me happy
17. Playing with Poppy makes me happy
18. Snuggling with Sharkey Rue makes me happy
19. Brainstorming on meta tags with Amber makes me happy
20. Going to the Boardwalk makes me happy
21. Stretching makes me happy
22. Eating sushi makes me happy
23. Eating chocolate makes me happy
24. Masturbating makes me wake up happy every day
25. Reading erotica makes me happy
26. Watching erotica makes me happy
27. Reading science fiction makes me happy
28. Keeping things clean & tidy makes me happy
29. Making it all beautiful makes me happy
30. Being massaged makes me happy
31. Having sex makes me feel good
32. Doing rituals makes me happy
33. Building altars makes me happy
34. Chanting makes me happy
35. Memorizing prayers makes me happy
36. Releasing old energy - mental, emotional or physical clutter - makes me happy
37. Being tattooed makes me happy
38. Having piercings makes me happy
39. Dressing femmy makes me happy
40. Getting my hair cut by Pati makes me really happy
41. Smoking the kindness makes me happy
42. Drinking wine makes me happy
43. But I really prefer beer, making my Buddha belly happy
44. Laughing - belly laughs in particular makes me happy
45. Jokes - verbal & practical jokes makes me happy
46. Romance makes me happy
47. Being in love makes me happy
48. Poetry makes me happy
49. Writing love letters & making cds makes me happy
50. Sharing my heart & telling my truths makes me happy
51. Concerts makes me happy
52. Going to plays, ballet, theater makes me happy
53. Going to the flea market makes me happy
54. Going to Women's Morning at Kiva - sauna & hot tubs - makes me happy
55. Being a big dyke makes me happy
56. Being out, loud & proud makes me happy
57. Wearing essential oils makes me happy
58. Wearing my jewelery makes me happy
59. Wearing any clothes I want to makes me happy
60. Wearing skirts & dresses makes me happy
61. Doing tarot & astrology readings makes me happy
62. Doing workshops & lectures makes me happy
63. Doing Reiki & hypnosis makes me happy
64. Playing on my website & virtual store makes me happy
65. Being good at business & marketing makes me happy
66. Connecting with other professionals makes me happy
67. Feeling respected as a business woman makes me happy
68. Being a part of a team makes me happy
69. Having breakfast with Dr. Z makes me happy
70. Taking care of my body makes me happy
71. Fantasizing makes me happy
72. Paying for amber's school makes me happy
73. Volunteering at her school makes me happy
74. Going back to school myself makes me happy
75. Playing softball, going to the batting cages, and the after game hang outs all make me happy
76. Feeling myself improve & get stronger makes me happy
77. Feeling in control of my life makes me happy
78. Buying used books & music at Logos makes me happy
79. Reconnecting with Andrea makes me happy (delta delta!)
80. Buying art books for inspiration makes me happy
81. Lighting fires in my wood stove makes me happy
82. My brown & white polka dot dress I wore for Pride makes me happy
83. The coral reef bathroom makes me happy
84. Living with my excellent housemate makes me happy
85. My alone time makes me happy
86. Office supplies makes me happy
87. The smell of band aids & freshly peeled bumper stickers make me happy
88. The fact that I have follow through makes me happy
89. Leaving myself love messages on the answering machine makes me happy
90. Cheesy poofs make me happy
91. Watching Scrubs on DVD makes me happy
92. Going through my photo albums with someone makes me happy
93. Sharing my poetry & journals with someone makes me happy
94. Decorating everything makes me happy
95. Painting the back fence makes me happy
96. Taking hot baths makes me happy
97. Taking long showers makes me happy
98. Hot coffee makes me ridiculously happy
99. Chai makes me chappy
100. Having & using sex toys makes me happy
101. Going to music festivals makes me happy
102. Traveling makes me happy
103. Camping makes me happy
104. Hanging out with Jen (my Idol) makes me happy
105. Being friends with the local barristas makes me happy
106. The Grateful Dead makes me happy
107. Making stickers & passing them out at shows makes me happy
108. Taking mind altering substances occasionally makes me happy
109. Lighting a candle everyday makes me happy
110. Being connected with Mom again makes me happy
111. Angel cards, Medicine cards, Affirmations all add to my happiness
112. Playing guitar makes me happy
113. Having money in the bank makes me happy
114. Having all my bills & taxes paid makes me happy
115. Creating lists & then checking things off makes me happy
116. Buying myself flowers makes me happy
117. Believing in Magic makes me happy
118. Being a Priestess makes me happy
119. Being a Mom makes me happy
120. Being lovers makes me happy
121. Being a wife makes me happy
122. Being a fairy mermaid at heart makes me happy
123. Having Elizabeth as my soul sister makes me happy
124. Knowing I give my best in my love relationships makes me happy
125. Being kind makes me happy
126. Practicing forgiveness makes me feel happier
127. Hugging & being hugged makes me happy
128. Kissing & being kissed makes me happy
129. Holding hands makes me ridiculously happy
130. Believing in myself in those hard moments, like changing the fluorescent bulbs at Herland all by self, or washing the bedroom windows by myself, makes me happy
131. Clean windows makes me happy
132. Not feeling addicted to anything makes me happy
133. Folks buying my artwork makes me happy
134. My friend Ginger makes me happy
135. Putting fairy messages inside my bills makes me happy
136. Doing my own book keeping makes me happy
137. Creating my own ads & other graphic design makes me happy
138. Working by myself makes me happy
139. Going down to the ocean makes me happy
140. Making lists like this makes me happy
141. Taking naps makes me happy
142. Remembering my dreams makes me happy
143. Being friends with Jill again makes me happy
144. The yellow paint on the wall by the stairs makes me happy every single day
145. The rainbows from the crystals in the windows make me happy
146. Freshly grated Parmesan cheese makes me happy
147. Being with Dad makes me happy
148. Mike the Dragon makes me happy
149. My beautiful new, queen size bed, with the "Sacred Plush" mattress makes me happy
150. My peachy keen bedroom
151. My new curtains makes me happy

How about you? What makes you happy? Add to the list...

Garden of my Mind

Hypnosis Session
Situation: Breaking up
Inner conflict: Did I make the right decision?
Trance: Polarity work
Vision:

In my left hand
in a clump of dirt
was a tiny baby plant
with little green leaves and fragile white roots

I had pulled it out
So I put it back in the soil
And watched
As a huge dandelion weed
took over the garden

In my right hand
A packet of seeds
Spilled California poppies
Into my tingling palm

After throwing the seedling
Into the green cycle
I spread my favorite seeds
seeds of peace, seeds of love, seeds of hope
Throughout the fertile
Garden of my mind....